Hi everyone! ? I just discovered this app and it seems like a good place to talk about mental health. I am new here, but I am not new to OCD. I like to introduce myself: I am 21 years old and I have been dealing with OCD for 8 years now. I have already completed two therapies so far. Fortunately, I am doing better, but it still can be hard from time to time. I am easily stressed out by everything and I generally tend to worry and overthink. In daily life music and writing poems helps a lot. Although I have many good friends, I don’t talk much about my OCD. My OCD consists mainly of obsessions. There are almost no physical compulsions. Most of the time, I worry about doing something illegal or morally wrong. Furthermore, I have some hyperchondric anxiety too, but it’s not that strong usually. What annoys me a lot, is my perfectionism. It intervenes with my OCD and makes it harder to let me enjoy life as I would want to....But I keep working. I keep working on my mental health and on my progress, because (to say it simply) mental illness sucks! What about you? Why are you here? What helps you?

I am from Germany. Where are you from? I am sorry to hear that. Only having obsessions is mean, isn’t it? The few physical compulsions I had were hard too, but for me it’s still easier to control (and more important recognize) physical behaviour than thoughts. Yes, I hope the same! It feels good to know where to find people who deal with the same/similar stuff.

@cogitationes-emergentes Brazil 7-1 ?? Really nice to have you here Let's win this battle against ocd?

@Diego Thank you Diego! Nice to meet you! (yes I remember that match. Back when public football matches were possible ?.)

Hi Evelyn! ? Thank you for introducing yourself to me! I can understand your struggle. I once had this suicidal OCD in a different version. I feared other people to do so. The professional diagnosis is kind of the best thing that can happen to anyone (who has OCD of course haha). Because like you said, it’s not that easy to recognize your own mental illness, when it’s such a complex matter like OCD. One might think that he acts normal by defending himself in case of an intrusive thought (I did it for a very long time). My therapy (cognitive behaviour therapy) wasn’t the easiest thing for me in the beginning, because I was confronted with the things I feared. But it helped and that gave me more confidence in progressing. And it’s very important that you found these things to help you. I am thinking of starting with some meditation to (hopefully) be more relaxed when studying stress kicks in.

@cogitationes-emergentes I have encountered that fear as well once in a while about other people. But yes once I got that diagnosis, and even before that when I was like hey I think it could be OCD I was relieved to put a name to it because it meant I could find a better treatment. I was seeing a counselor before that because I thought it was just heavy anxiety, but it didn’t make sense to me that I was having constant nonstop intrusive thoughts accompanied by mental reassurance and checks. But when I heard OCD I quickly switched to an OCD specialist and it went on from there. I was on medication at one point (buspirone) but now I’m off, I was considering starting medication but to be honest it kinda scares me so for now I’m working on my therapy and trying to start implementing exercise and whatnot to see if that helps

@Evelyn4416 Yes, to be able to name it makes at a bit easier to handle. And as you said to find a proper treatment. I was on medication for two years . I took fluoxetine. It helped a lot in terms of symptoms. Back then, my obsessions made me feel hopeless from time to time. So when a really bad obsession occurred, my mood dropped heavily. Medication changed that drastically and I was like in a more stable state with a very comfortable mood. But it also felt pretty artificial. Together with my psychiatrist, I decided to decrease and finally stay away from this medication. Then I switched from a psychoanalyst to a cognitive behaviour therapy, which I personally liked way more, and started implementing the things I learned there into daily life. And it helped me a lot. Especially, because I feel some sort of strength, because I am the one who is now helping myself.

@cogitationes-emergentes Could you describe what you said about feeling pretty artificial?

@Evelyn4416 It’s not that easy, but I will try. It felt good. I felt much more satisfied. I still had obsessions. But the anxiety wasn’t that intense. My general mood was lightened up. But when I compare it to my mood right now, it’s different. When I have no obsession, when I am not stressed out, but also not extremely happy about something, I now feel just „neutral“ or normally good. When I was on medication, I first was happy about this new feeling, because it made me feel better. But at the same time, I felt like being wrapped up in cotton wool. Actually, I wasn’t really bothered by that for a long time. I was just happy to feel better. But at some point, I wanted the try it without it, because I was curious how it would be without medication. If my mood would stay this way and how it would feel like then. I hope it clarifies it a bit. But already some years have passed since I was on medication and sometimes I even forget about it.

Thank you! :)