I saw somewhere that pedos can experience grief over attraction to minors and that’s honestly so scary to me. I’m 16 and I’m terrified I’ll always be attracted to other 16 year olds when I’m older. I’m constantly comparing and checking and I know I shouldn’t be but I just feel so lost about this theme, and that isn’t even reassuring since pedos can feel that way too. What if I was born a pedo and am just now figuring it out? I can’t imagine living as one, I would kms before I did anything but of course even that doesn’t matter because what if I still had that attraction, even if I was a non offending pedo. Sorry for the rant, I’m just looking for support and to know I’m not alone.

POCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

Comment deleted by user

isabeau

Date posted: 5y

Thanks so much for your response. This is helpful. It’s hard for me to distinguish between compulsions and the sort of deliberate thoughts a pedo might have

isabeau

Date posted: 5y

@Bob999 Thank you so much for the support. This is really helpful for me. I guess I always forget that what I’m doing could be ocd and just a product of worry rather than a truth about myself

199903

Date posted: 5y

The reality is that everyone has intrusive thoughts. If having just having POCD thoughts but not acting on them makes you a pedophile, there would be a lot of pedophiles out there lol. It’s a natural part of the brain to question things, have intrusive thoughts, and respond to sexual content whether you are intending to or not. Without giving too much reassurance, pedophiles experience a very different thought process of attraction, enjoyable fantasies, and generally pleasurable thoughts. Saying this, I do not condone pedophilia in any way at all, and I believe individuals taking pleasure in these thoughts should seek help so no one is hurt. At the end of the day it’s also not worth trying to compare since there will always be something your OCD will cling to saying “see!! This is the proof we’re a horrible person!!”. The best way to respond to these thoughts is “maybe I am a pedophile, maybe I’m not”, and then continue on with your day without engaging in any compulsions related to your obsessions. Over time, the brain learns the thought is irrelevant and stops responding to it with huge amounts of fear and anxiety. I struggle myself with this same theme and I’ve had the same thoughts as you, worrying if I was a born a bad person and now I’m just waiting for it to happen, but that’s not likely to be the case. The best step forward here is to take a leap of faith, start doing ERP, and get your life back. Sorry for the super long post but I want to help any way I can! ❤️

isabeau

Date posted: 5y

That’s super helpful, thank you so much! You have no idea how much of a good thing that was to read.

199903

Date posted: 5y

@isabeau You’re welcome! I’m so glad I can help. Keep up the ERP and let me know how it goes!

isabeau

Date posted: 5y

@199903 Of course! It means so much to have a supporting community, without this I don’t know where I’d be. I always get so caught up in the thoughts I forget the fact that it doesn’t have to mean a single thing

199903

Date posted: 5y

@isabeau Absolutely! All OCD is at the end of the day is overattending to normal intrusive thoughts. I struggle too, but we can get through this!

kstyle4

Date posted: 5y

Your not alone, I'm over 18 so it's a real problem to admit. And I just have to tell myself these are just thoughts not actions.

kstyle4

Date posted: 5y

Find a therapist and talk details with them. I've just been able to talk to my parents that I get these thoughts. And that's embarrassing, but I feel better that I admit it and I let it go.

isabeau

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for the advice. I’m not in a place to seek therapy unfortunately so I’ll have to find ways to cope on my own. This is the worst theme I’ve ever had. I feel like an imposter and a monster and that I like all of this. It’s destroying me

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