I’m not strong enough to do this :( I’m so worried that I won’t get through this and it will ruin my dreams of being a doctor and achieving everything I want to in life. What if my HOCD stops me from going to university and achieving the things I’ve set out to do:( I feel broken and like I will never be fixed?

I’ve just heard about so many stories of how people have had to drop out of university because of their ocd. I’m scared that that will be me

thank you for the advice? i will keep battling x

I get that too :( And then I think what if i do find my husband but i think it’s just because I’m trying to prove to myself that i’m not in denial about my sexhality

@amyyyy Right! And the weird thing is that I always say I would rather be alone than with a woman. Like what??

@Madeline Me too! Having HOCD feels like I’ll never be allowed to be with a man and it’s forcing me to like girls but I’d rather be alone than be with a woman:(

@amyyyy Exactly! I guess that’s my weird way of knowing that it’s my hocd and not me. I even pray to God to end up with a man. I don’t think I would do that if I truly was gay lol

Oh yeah I do that all the time. But I think I was doing things more out of curiosity about my own body because I distinctly remember being so confident that I liked bots at the same time

@Madeline Wow, that is just like me. I never worried about my sexuality because I knew I didn’t like girls. I think it was just out of curiosity too

@amyyyy Yep! I remember at the same time I was in practically in love with one of my guy friends lol

@Madeline Me too! At the start of HOCD it was better than it is now because I was talking to this guy and liked him soooo much but then he left me for another girl:( now i have no one and it’s like my attraction to guys has gone

@amyyyy Omg a jerk! But yes it literally never crossed my mind that I could be gay when I was a child. I always knew that I was going to end up with a guy even if now my brain says “you felt something when looking at those pictures” truth is I probably didn’t. And I also read somewhere that our bodies react to anything Reno felt sexual because our brain connects it to having sex, even if we’re not attaracted to those people

@Madeline Exactly, especially when we’re younger. We didn’t even understand it but it was sexual so we reacted like it. It’s just a very scary situation

@amyyyy It is I understand. But we just have to take it day by day. And you never have to do anything you don’t want to!

Yes I do that, many people do.. it’s horrid. We just have to keep battling on even though things are uncertain

I’m so sorry but I really don’t know. I worry about that all the time too but it’s just OCD trying to ruin our lives and attack the things we care about most. I hope you can over come this