Is it too much ERP if you see your child begging you to wash his hands , crying falling on the floor like an addict asking for drugs and not give in ? I wasn’t yelling just told him all the right things about talking back to OCD . He responded only to the possibility driving him to the hospital if he wouldn’t stop acting like that. I allowed him to wash hands only after I placed the soap dispenser in the garbage bin. Was I too harsh ? I do some extra exposure than the therapist tell us since I saw it’s working. Am I over doing it since it’s the beginning? I want to avoid medication so badly ...

I tell the therapist everything I do and she is telling me she is very happy with what I do. What Usually happens is we try one extra thing that I have discussed with my son before and he is expecting to do it by the end of the day or the next day. He is 15 and of course he resists even though he agrees he wants to get better and sees improvement. The hospital reference was too much ... I agree ... just that moment had to do or say to make him stop. That’s why I feel so guilty now . He was afraid to walk in the grass and I made him walk even though he was crying and now only after 3 times he can walk calmly with flip flops still fearful but keeps the same clothes on and no washing hands. Just today it got too much for no reason when he has touched the same door so many times and I don’t understand it

@gioula Yes there will be days that out of no where things are too much despite being able to do it few days in a row. The recovery is like a rollercoaster. If the extra exposure is too much I suggest telling him "it's okay if you can't do it. We can try again later or on a later day. This is a process and there will be days like this and it's okay". Tell him he doesn't need to pressure himself to have to finish by certain date. Go at the pace he can go in. Im speaking from experience. I put too much pressure, thought I could do more than usual and backfired and it's very hard for me to deal with now. But there were also compulsions I was able to cut by the rip the bandaid off method. It's great that he has a support system and someone who cares. I know this is a hard process. Curious, do you do some exposures with him? Some compulsions I was able to get rid of because I had someone else do it with me. Maybe during the hard times you can do it with him?

@Crazy.Cat.Lady I do every exposure he has done with the therapist daily more than 2 times at least and I am his shadow whenever I can to make sure he does it on his own ( not there yet ) . I always give him options what to do extra like he does extra credit at school .... I use the tactics I see during sessions. I don’t see the therapist as the person who will save my kid ...She gives ne the ammunition to do it with my son himself . If my house sets on fire I won’t wait for the firefighters !!! .When my son refuses to touch something for over 2-3 min I know he is not ready but most times he listens to me and trusts me but when things get hard makes me feel I am a cold unloving mom

@gioula I agree with your not waiting for the firefighters. I have the same mentality. I'm jealous that he has a devoted and living and caring mother. I lost my parents few years ago and even though they had a feeling something was wrong with me they never knew I have ocd. I never really had a consistent support. I know it's difficult but reading your last comment you're doing a great job. Having support is really important. Your soon had contamination fear? I have that too and I've gotten over mostof my contamination fear. I used to have to shower after using the bathroom and use lysol wipes on my body. So I know it's really difficult for him. One of my ERP involved sitting on a wet bathroom rug which I thought was from toilet overflow, my hands on it while a piece of chocolate sat on the toilet seat. After 5 minutes I would have to eat without washing my hands. And I slowly stretched my times. Another thing that helped me was after touching sonething contaminated I would touch everything until I'm all exhausted I can't stay up to clean. I was crying the whole time and I even went as far as touching my boyfriend at the time. It really is hard I was just like your son. It's like someone squeezing you on the inside and it's just really painful. But you are doing great.

@Crazy.Cat.Lady Thanks for your encouragement my son’s ocd was triggered 3 months ago with puberty and he is listening to me because he trusts me but it takes a lot of effort and I spend every minute with him when I don’t work. I call him every day my hero but I can’t tell if he understands me and believes me when he is overwhelmed

@gioula It really is hard to have a sound mind when we are overwhelmed. We can't think clearly, at least nothing but the anxiety. That's when the anxiety has control over us. But if he trusts you and do things that's a good sign. He may not remember that you care and love in the moment when all he can think of his anxiety but please don't take it personal. What you should believe is when he is calm and when ocd isn't threatening him. I know I can get nasty when my anxiety gets a hold of me and when IT feels threatened when I do the ERP. OCD will do whatever to keep control of us. It's a bully. I hope im making sense here. Usually with contamination fear, people are afraid to get their loved ones sick because of them. OCD grabs a hold of what is important to us so the positive is that he loves you that he doesn't want you to get sick. He knows. At least I would if I'm told "you're my hero" when I'm or rather I have control over my ocd. When I'm calm. I know it's very hard but please be patient with him and don't forget to take care of yourself as well. We are here for you and maybe your son could use this app too to get more support. Talking to people who have similar OCD can be powerful in helping to stay strong and to feel understood and not have to explain yourself.

Thanks I believe he can handle it but it’s so hard for me to do it alone ( his father can’t accept this happened to his son ) . My son said to me accused me the other day that I watch him cry and allow the therapist to hurt him and I do nothing!!!

So true ... first time I heard about OCD was 3 months ago and now it’s the only thing in my mind

Exposure therapy touching or doing what you fear to treat your OCD