I get this thought that tells me “how are you going to tell your future wife that you have ocd? And these are the intrusive thoughts? Jesus man no one will love you”

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I waited a long time before telling him about my OCD bc, of course, my OCD made me irrationally fear telling him about it. What has tremendously helped me to open up about my mental health to others is seeing my therapist, as she helped me realize that all my fears are just thoughts and that it really isn’t impossible to overcome them. So she encouraged me to talk to others more openly about my OCD, which I was terrified about doing bc I thought that if I mentioned my obsessions to others then they would be jinxed and just worsen my OCD, but what I found in telling those around me is that I just felt so much more free. My boyfriend was the first person (besides my therapist) who I talked to openly about all my main triggers and obsessions and he has been nothing short of understanding and supportive. He really cares so much about my well being and has never judged me for having this illness. Any fears that you may have about your OCD impacting your future relationships through judgement is just your OCD trying to trick you, but once you open up more about it, you will be able to gain the upper hand over it.

I told my girlfriend about my harm OCD thoughts. She knows the general nature, but we don’t get into the nittty gritty. It hasn’t caused any issues and we even make inside jokes about it. I think people can surprise you with their understanding. That said, we’d been together for a few years, it wasn’t like we were on a first date. That said, you could approach telling your partner in different ways. For me, sharing the fact that I have OCD in general is a must - it’s a part of me and in the midst of a lapse I’d want to be able to let my partner know. That said, you aren’t obligated to share the details (theme) with anyone, assuming you both agree that that is acceptable. Frankly, she may not care or even want to know the details! OCD may be trying to convince you that you need to share all the details with an intimate partner because otherwise you might be a liar, ingenuine, etc. (or something along those lines). In reality, it isn’t so black and white!

When you find the right person they will never make you feel bad for the thoughts or even pressure you into telling them. My fiance has heard and seen me at my lowest with this and he still loves me. Someone will love you one day for everything that you have going on.

I feel this big time :/ like this is a daily thought for me. I try to just be upfront with people I’m talking to romantically about my OCD. Communication is key! And at the end of the day, it comes down to finding the right person. If someone truly sees you and who you are they will see past your illness and work with you through it. You’re not an evil or mad person, your brain is jsut unfortunately wired a little differently which causes you to have obsessions and compulsions. Your obsessions/intrusive thoughts do not reflect who you really are

With disclosing my OCD to anyone, I find it helpful to do it in multiple smaller conversations. I start with vague information and work my way to specifics. The more relaxed I am during conversations, the better they tend to receive the information. That means not introducing the subject during an OCD symptom flare. Here is a link to an article that has more suggestionshttps://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinionsdear-loved-one-i-have-ocd-tips-for-individuals-and-family-members-about-disclosing-your-ocd/