I get this thought that tells me “how are you going to tell your future wife that you have ocd? And these are the intrusive thoughts? Jesus man no one will love you”

POCD

aelle

Date posted: 5y ago

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I waited a long time before telling him about my OCD bc, of course, my OCD made me irrationally fear telling him about it. What has tremendously helped me to open up about my mental health to others is seeing my therapist, as she helped me realize that all my fears are just thoughts and that it really isn’t impossible to overcome them. So she encouraged me to talk to others more openly about my OCD, which I was terrified about doing bc I thought that if I mentioned my obsessions to others then they would be jinxed and just worsen my OCD, but what I found in telling those around me is that I just felt so much more free. My boyfriend was the first person (besides my therapist) who I talked to openly about all my main triggers and obsessions and he has been nothing short of understanding and supportive. He really cares so much about my well being and has never judged me for having this illness. Any fears that you may have about your OCD impacting your future relationships through judgement is just your OCD trying to trick you, but once you open up more about it, you will be able to gain the upper hand over it.

buddhaboy

Date posted: 5y ago

I told my girlfriend about my harm OCD thoughts. She knows the general nature, but we don’t get into the nittty gritty. It hasn’t caused any issues and we even make inside jokes about it. I think people can surprise you with their understanding. That said, we’d been together for a few years, it wasn’t like we were on a first date. That said, you could approach telling your partner in different ways. For me, sharing the fact that I have OCD in general is a must - it’s a part of me and in the midst of a lapse I’d want to be able to let my partner know. That said, you aren’t obligated to share the details (theme) with anyone, assuming you both agree that that is acceptable. Frankly, she may not care or even want to know the details! OCD may be trying to convince you that you need to share all the details with an intimate partner because otherwise you might be a liar, ingenuine, etc. (or something along those lines). In reality, it isn’t so black and white!

sks2011

Date posted: 5y ago

When you find the right person they will never make you feel bad for the thoughts or even pressure you into telling them. My fiance has heard and seen me at my lowest with this and he still loves me. Someone will love you one day for everything that you have going on.

froggy123

Date posted: 5y ago

I feel this big time :/ like this is a daily thought for me. I try to just be upfront with people I’m talking to romantically about my OCD. Communication is key! And at the end of the day, it comes down to finding the right person. If someone truly sees you and who you are they will see past your illness and work with you through it. You’re not an evil or mad person, your brain is jsut unfortunately wired a little differently which causes you to have obsessions and compulsions. Your obsessions/intrusive thoughts do not reflect who you really are

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y ago

With disclosing my OCD to anyone, I find it helpful to do it in multiple smaller conversations. I start with vague information and work my way to specifics. The more relaxed I am during conversations, the better they tend to receive the information. That means not introducing the subject during an OCD symptom flare. Here is a link to an article that has more suggestionshttps://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinionsdear-loved-one-i-have-ocd-tips-for-individuals-and-family-members-about-disclosing-your-ocd/

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

Obsessing over coworker for months OCD

You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(

Relationship OCD

Jesuslover28

Date posted: 21w ago

Idk what to do

I don't even know if I should put this here, but I have the greatest girlfriend in the whole world, and I love her very much, but my thoughts keep saying I'm going to hurt her, so I can hurt God and idk what to do, I feel so disgusted and idk what to do, and the worst part is why does some part of me just not even care idk what to do anymore, it's almost like I'm turning into this horrible person and idk what to do, I'm really not sure what to do. I have really been able to be happy I just feel like I don't deserve it and I want to care about people and God and I want to be a good person, but a part of me shuts off my caring nature and idk what to do, I'm really freaking out because it's like IDC and idk what to do I just feel so nasty and scared because why don't I feel like I care. Why does it feel like it's something I wanna do idk, what to do I'm really freaking worried. Also I don't want OCD but a part of me says I need it or I like these thoughts and idk what to do, as im writing this i just feel like laughing and idk what to do, i really judt want jesus to hug me and say everything will be alright, i am such a monster....

sammyjc

Date posted: 16w ago

Ocd about cheating on my girlfriend

So i play in a band, and we were having practice, and my girlfriend was there listening to us, then this girl around our age walks in, and my head tells me to cheat on my girlfriend with her. I know i would never do such a thing. And it bothered me for days. And i ended up telling my girlfriend, and tried to explain my ocd. It hurt her and she believes that the instrusive thoughts, are my thoughts so in that, i must feel something behind them. And she feels hurt because i explained to her the obsessive part of ocd and how this thought wouldnt leave my head. And she got upset knowing that i was constantly thinking about cheating on her. I cant help but feel its all my fault. And now that she doesnt understand i feel really guilty for my thoughts and they are coming more often and worse. When i was fine for months, but my ocd always acts up right as i get in relationships, then i usually tell my spouse and tell them i cant feel guilt for my thoughts or they will get worse. And they usually just accepted it and it was easy. But with her it seems she just cant seem to understand, ive tried to explain it to her countless times, she isnt willing to do research with me to help better understand it or anything. Maybe for my first ocd issue telling her that wasnt the best idea.

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I get this thought that tells me “how are you going to tell your future wife that you have ocd? And these are the intrusive thoughts? Jesus man no one will love you”

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