- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’ve heard great yiur ocd like a buoy before I’d forgotten that though thankyou
Like a bully I mean
Telling yourself that your the worst off and your symptoms are different will make recovery much harder. Almost everybody, myself included is better at giving advice than actually doing it
No it won’t I’ve tried. My ERP is Erp/compulsions so it doesn’t matter anymore. Unlike you I have no one to get better for. My own family thinks I’m a lost caused. I have no loved ones to cheer me on. All I have is myself. I no longer have anxiety over killing myself so it’s just a choice whether I do it or not. It’s not how I want my life to be but it’s my reality right now.
@bufferthanyou You can’t get better for other people. You have to do it for yourself. That goes for all of us, people with and without support systems, not just you. I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience with therapy so far. Doing ERP on your own is difficult. But doing it wrong for awhile won’t ruin your chances of ever recovering. Once you do start doing it correctly, it still works. I understand that life is very hard for you right now. And I’m sorry you’re feeling defeated. Many people struggle to get anxious during ERP. Often times it’s because people tell themselves things like “this is just therapy homework, it’s not real.” If you’re not making progress with your current therapist, and you’ve given them adequate time to make progress (most people don’t see noticeable differences with ERP until 2-3 months in —And full recovery takes 6+ months) then you should try a new therapist. I’m not sure what you mean by your ERP is ERP/compulsions but if you’d like to share more about your experience with ERP, people may be able to offer advice on how to make it more effective. Hang in there!
I know how to beat OCD but I can’t at the same time. My compulsions and erp have overlap each other to where doing either one just makes me come back to zero. My end point is only the middle. The middle is where I’m at. I can’t improve neither get worst which leaves me empty. There isn’t such things as erp for erp/compulsions it hasn’t been made because it doesn’t makes since but that’s why I’m fucked up because my brain caused it and my therapist didn’t catch it but now I’m stuck so My mind is like in the movie Bolto where he marked the trees to find his way back but the other dog/villain marked other trees to fuck him up so he couldn’t find his way back he eventually made his way back but that’s a movie not real life it was made like that real life isn’t like that.
*Balto only reference that came to my mind to describe what’s wrong with my brain.
I’m not going to explain it because it’s too big of a story. That has tormented my life for now 6 years and made things even worse for me for the last 3 yrs. I said there wasn’t erp for erp/compulsions. It just basically means my ocd bounce off of each other with each erp I do with no end. Trust me I’ve tried doing one right after the other but no end because the erp for both my obsessions are also compulsions for each other. It lingers on through out my day with no end.
I wasn’t asking for a long story — and understanding your entire history with OCD is up to you and your therapist. I was just saying that if you wanted to provide an example of an exposure exercise you’ve maybe struggled with, others might be able to offer advise. But you don’t seem open to the idea of improving your situation right now. Good luck!
@pureolife I haven’t struggled with erp. I over did my erp which is what got me in this mess. What don’t you understand about that? I have a constant arousal 24/7 which doesn’t go away. Yes I know it’s caused by my OCD but there isn’t anything I can do about it since I fucked up my thoughts. Your advice just angers me it doesn’t help. And ending your comment with a good luck doesn’t help it’s a cop out. Don’t start commenting on someone’s post you’ve never spoken with before.
@bufferthanyou I’m sorry you’re in so much pain right now. Overdoing ERP can be an awful experience, and you’re not alone in dealing with this. But it will not permanently prevent you from recovery. I understand that you do not want advise from me, or perhaps anyone. But I hope you find someone who you do want to listen to who can help. I genuinely wished you luck, and still do. I know how hard this illness is to deal with. Unfortunately, the nature of this app is to have strangers comment on your posts. While I can stop commenting here after this, you will likely experience other comments from people you have never spoken to you if you choose to keep posting. Perhaps a closed support group would better suit your needs and preferences.
@pureolife Sorry my emotions are messed up with my medication that I’ll have to stop after today. I’m not afraid of OCD which is sort of my issue. Wow that came back to me full circle smfh haha. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life and when I’m off medication I purposely drink caffeine to bring the the stupid thoughts and if it weren’t for this stupid ass pandemic I would’ve quieted my thoughts more to make my life more comfortable. The only thing with the caffeine is it makes me depressed. The reason I went on medication is I saw I was starting to have anxiety in a group setting that I never had anxiety for and it made me take a deep breath and cry a bit and I erp it because I didn’t want it to bother me but it made me really piss because I couldn’t do it again to be like fuck you bitch. That was the reason why I decided to take meds again.
If anyone needs help in exposures or something they are struggling with I’m open to help! I’ve been dealing with OCD, anxiety, and depression for a long time now. I’ve got a pretty firm understanding on the mechanism of OCD and ERP. I am struggling with depression strongly at the moment but I’ve seen large and tangible progress with ERP ?
Ok guys I am a long time OCD struggler and want to help you all out because I am free of this terrible mindset. That’s right it is not a disease a disorder, it’s a mindset. OCD is very misunderstood by therapists and doctors, and you can check my other posts to help you understand it better. I was having people email me for my “cures” but I’m going to say em all right here because even though many will disagree and I may be banned for what I say, I truly just aant to help, so NOCD admins or whatever plz don’t ban me !
It’s been a few months since I’ve been on here and I’m happy to say it’s because I am pretty much pure o, ocd free! This app really did help so much! I want to share the things that helped me get a grip on ocd. I don’t want to use the words “recover or control” because ocd is a part of our brains but it doesn’t mean it has to be a distressing part. I had my first ocd flare up in Nov and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying and panicking almost every night for weeks, looking back I can’t believe I made it through the things I needed to do in life because I was a mess. But now I look at things like atleast I know what it is and how to deal with it when it comes. So here are my tips. 1. Reading about intrusive thoughts and pure o online and in books. I consumed as much knowledge about ocd as I could. 2. Starting erp therapy on my own and with a therapist. Though I do have a therapist to guide me 100% of erp is the work I put in. I would try all the recommendations of erp from accepting the thought, to making myself have the thoughts as practice, resisting compulsions, changing the way I reacted and thought about an intrusive thought, now this isn’t easy... but I did it all the time even when I felt the panic feeling and even when the ocd was strong, even when I didn’t believe it. I faked it until I made it 3. Practice is helpful, it took days of hard work especially in the first few months but that’s what I did, I considered every day, every intrusive thought as practice 4. Once I stopped the compulsions, (luckily mine weren’t very strong and I cut them off quick) I began thinking the thoughts that bothered me, and slowly added more disturbing content into my life (my ocd was harm ocd mainly) 5. I told myself that “yes that bad thought is real” and didn’t try to comfort my intrusive thought or push it away, if ocd said I was crazy and going to be locked in a facility then I agreed, I would say it in my head and sometimes out loud “yup your right ocd I’m crazy” 6. After acceptance and exposure I began working on being kinder to myself, I didn’t think that this step was crucial but it is.... ocd wants us to suffer and in a way it’s like by giving it power I wanted to suffer too, I told myself that ocd is a liar and I don’t want to suffer, it’s ok that I have ocd I accept it but now I must be gentle with myself 7. Learning to always default to these things when an intrusive thought happens, so much so that my brain does it naturally now ...a) hi ocd that’s cool but I’d rather not think about that and I continue doing what I’m doing, this is hard in the beginning but gets easier b) sure ocd I am definitely crazy but again I think I’d rather keep watching this show c) I am okay with the possibility of that happening but now is not the time for me to figure that out d) you are a liar and separate from me but thanks for the interesting thought ...8. Remembering these things: ocd is a liar, a thought isn’t sumthing u control but what u do with it is, if you don’t want to do something you won’t because of your morals and free will, this concept took me awhile to grasp but repetition is key. Almost everyone get intrusive thoughts so you aren’t unique or alone. I’ve learned through the ups and downs of erp how to combat my intrusive thoughts, how to be kinder to myself and how to change the way I think in order to live a better life. I still get an intrusive thought occasionally when I’m sticky but the way I think about the thought is so automatic now and so relaxed because of the work I’ve put in! If you are working towards erp don’t stop, keep going! I feel you, I know it’s hard and exhausting... 11 months ago I thought I was going crazy I was in the worst place of my life flash to today and it’s like I never even had ocd! You can do this I promise xx
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