- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve heard great yiur ocd like a buoy before I’d forgotten that though thankyou
- Date posted
- 5y
Like a bully I mean
- Date posted
- 5y
Telling yourself that your the worst off and your symptoms are different will make recovery much harder. Almost everybody, myself included is better at giving advice than actually doing it
- Date posted
- 5y
No it won’t I’ve tried. My ERP is Erp/compulsions so it doesn’t matter anymore. Unlike you I have no one to get better for. My own family thinks I’m a lost caused. I have no loved ones to cheer me on. All I have is myself. I no longer have anxiety over killing myself so it’s just a choice whether I do it or not. It’s not how I want my life to be but it’s my reality right now.
- Date posted
- 5y
@bufferthanyou You can’t get better for other people. You have to do it for yourself. That goes for all of us, people with and without support systems, not just you. I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience with therapy so far. Doing ERP on your own is difficult. But doing it wrong for awhile won’t ruin your chances of ever recovering. Once you do start doing it correctly, it still works. I understand that life is very hard for you right now. And I’m sorry you’re feeling defeated. Many people struggle to get anxious during ERP. Often times it’s because people tell themselves things like “this is just therapy homework, it’s not real.” If you’re not making progress with your current therapist, and you’ve given them adequate time to make progress (most people don’t see noticeable differences with ERP until 2-3 months in —And full recovery takes 6+ months) then you should try a new therapist. I’m not sure what you mean by your ERP is ERP/compulsions but if you’d like to share more about your experience with ERP, people may be able to offer advice on how to make it more effective. Hang in there!
- Date posted
- 5y
I know how to beat OCD but I can’t at the same time. My compulsions and erp have overlap each other to where doing either one just makes me come back to zero. My end point is only the middle. The middle is where I’m at. I can’t improve neither get worst which leaves me empty. There isn’t such things as erp for erp/compulsions it hasn’t been made because it doesn’t makes since but that’s why I’m fucked up because my brain caused it and my therapist didn’t catch it but now I’m stuck so My mind is like in the movie Bolto where he marked the trees to find his way back but the other dog/villain marked other trees to fuck him up so he couldn’t find his way back he eventually made his way back but that’s a movie not real life it was made like that real life isn’t like that.
- Date posted
- 5y
*Balto only reference that came to my mind to describe what’s wrong with my brain.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m not going to explain it because it’s too big of a story. That has tormented my life for now 6 years and made things even worse for me for the last 3 yrs. I said there wasn’t erp for erp/compulsions. It just basically means my ocd bounce off of each other with each erp I do with no end. Trust me I’ve tried doing one right after the other but no end because the erp for both my obsessions are also compulsions for each other. It lingers on through out my day with no end.
- Date posted
- 5y
I wasn’t asking for a long story — and understanding your entire history with OCD is up to you and your therapist. I was just saying that if you wanted to provide an example of an exposure exercise you’ve maybe struggled with, others might be able to offer advise. But you don’t seem open to the idea of improving your situation right now. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 5y
@pureolife I haven’t struggled with erp. I over did my erp which is what got me in this mess. What don’t you understand about that? I have a constant arousal 24/7 which doesn’t go away. Yes I know it’s caused by my OCD but there isn’t anything I can do about it since I fucked up my thoughts. Your advice just angers me it doesn’t help. And ending your comment with a good luck doesn’t help it’s a cop out. Don’t start commenting on someone’s post you’ve never spoken with before.
- Date posted
- 5y
@bufferthanyou I’m sorry you’re in so much pain right now. Overdoing ERP can be an awful experience, and you’re not alone in dealing with this. But it will not permanently prevent you from recovery. I understand that you do not want advise from me, or perhaps anyone. But I hope you find someone who you do want to listen to who can help. I genuinely wished you luck, and still do. I know how hard this illness is to deal with. Unfortunately, the nature of this app is to have strangers comment on your posts. While I can stop commenting here after this, you will likely experience other comments from people you have never spoken to you if you choose to keep posting. Perhaps a closed support group would better suit your needs and preferences.
- Date posted
- 5y
@pureolife Sorry my emotions are messed up with my medication that I’ll have to stop after today. I’m not afraid of OCD which is sort of my issue. Wow that came back to me full circle smfh haha. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life and when I’m off medication I purposely drink caffeine to bring the the stupid thoughts and if it weren’t for this stupid ass pandemic I would’ve quieted my thoughts more to make my life more comfortable. The only thing with the caffeine is it makes me depressed. The reason I went on medication is I saw I was starting to have anxiety in a group setting that I never had anxiety for and it made me take a deep breath and cry a bit and I erp it because I didn’t want it to bother me but it made me really piss because I couldn’t do it again to be like fuck you bitch. That was the reason why I decided to take meds again.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
I had to cancel my therapy because it was no longer available with my insurance. And I just kind of feel hopeless with OCD. Even when I was doing therapy, I think my OCD started getting too complicated for my therapist and she didn’t even know what to do. My fears are so complex it’s crazy. So my big fear is my OCD being bad and being super depressed again like I was a few months ago in high school. I attended a public highschool for a semester and started the worst flare up I’ve ever had. I was harshly bullied for no reason whatsoever, and not accepted by anyone. I am an athletic kid who usually keeps to himself so I didn’t understand why people targeted me, especially when I wanted nothing to do with them. From August to now ( March) I CANNOT grasp hold of my OCD. I am very hard on myself about it. Going into dangers anytime I see one so I can expose myself. But constantly obsessing about if I’m doing enough for my OCD. And comparing myself to how I use to be, before the flare ups. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m obsessing about my OCD and if it’s bad and comparing. Another HUGE fear of mine is being treated differently because I have OCD. So being bullied for so long I always assumed it was because I was shy and didn’t want to stand up for myself - due to my OCD- so I blamed myself for everything that continued to happen, . from people bullying me in the past . The people at that highschool were downright crazy. Even the teachers and coaches had major issues and I’m so glad to be out of there, but I still obsess the same everyday and hold so much resentment for that school and when I try to let it go, I just feel more passive pain and obsess even more about it weather my ocd is okay or not. I feel mentally sick. Please someone give me some advice for my fears, because I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to expose myself to everything but nothings working.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there. I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.
- Date posted
- 13w
I had just posted a summary of ERP for a group member, and I thought it might be useful for everybody. Here it is below (with a little extra added)…. ERP therapy is researched-based. Most other therapies don’t work. There have been people who have been literally stuck in their houses (from their OCD) who gained their lives back through ERP therapy. NOCD does ERP therapy exclusively. You can find it in other places too, but you have to ask around. There are two tenants of ERP therapy: The first one has to do with the repetitive thoughts inside our heads. These thoughts are actually defined as “obsessions”. You are not supposed to do anything with the obsessions. You are supposed to let them run through your head freely, without trying to fix them or stop them. Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off and float down the river. You can see the leaves falling, but you don’t try to stop them or pick them up. You don’t try to fix them. You just let them float away. This is really important to do with your obsessive thoughts. The more you try to fight them off, the worse they get. I used to have blasphemous sentences running in my head 24/7. I felt like I had to put a “not” next to each sentence in order to “fix” it. But this just took hours of my time every day, and it was very scary, because I was worried that if I messed up, that I would go to hell. It was very freeing to learn later that I could just let those sentences run freely through my head without trying to fix them. The second part of ERP therapy is all about “denying your compulsions.” Every time OCD tells you that if you don’t do things a certain way that something really bad will happen, that is a compulsion. Once you recognize what your compulsions are, ERP therapy will have you practice stopping doing all of those things. For some people, that will mean stopping washing their hands or touching lights switches or, in my case, putting “fixing” words in their head. Compulsions are safety behaviors. During ERP therapy, you will practice stopping engaging with safety behaviors. All this is very hard to do and scary, so during therapy you will be given tools to help you deal with the fear. Often ERP therapy will take people from being non-functional to functional. I highly recommend it. ————————————————- PITFALL #1: After you have been doing ERP for a while and become somewhat successful, the OCD will try subtle little tricks to bring you down again. The first one is to tell you that your thoughts are REAL and not OCD, and therefore you can’t apply ERP therapy. Don’t fall for this trick! All thoughts are just thoughts. They are all meaningless. Don’t try to figure out what is real and what is OCD. Just treat all thoughts with ERP therapy. PITFALL #2: The second pitfall is that OCD will tell you that you can’t move forward unless you have absolute certainty that you will be safe. Hate to tell you this, folks, but there is no certainty in life. You will never know for SURE that you or your loved ones will be “safe” from the OCD rules. Therefore, you have to move forward in the uncertainty. It’s hard, but it gets easier with time and practice. We got this, guys !!!!!!
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