Well My pocd really annoying me today. It’s the most awful mental illness. I live in supported accommodation so in theory I could talk to my carers about this but i feel ashamed and worried they would just think I’m perverted. It’s a very isolated illness. I’ve tried reaching out to a crisis text service called shout but I always wimp out in case they also don’t understand. I doubt they would but I think to myself maybe they will think I’m a danger and call the police. I know we are all in lockdown, but there are a number of people in my shared house I could socialise with but I’m distancing myself as I find it difficult when I’m out with friends and there are children about. The idea that my friends discover my thoughts and don’t understand is terrifying. This illness makes no sense and I don’t know how to handle it right now. My coping methods are going for walks and talking to my parents. I’ve already been out walking for two hours today and I don’t want to call my mum and dad just to bring them bad news. All I can think is that tomorrow is a new day and that maybe after a good nights sleep I may feel better tomorrow or after going walking tomorrow. I am on the waiting list for what my local mental health team call psychology. I think they use cbt and I’m hoping also erp. This is however future support and not with me now. I would be interested to hear how other people with this affliction cope and what strategies and methods you use. Getting intrusive thoughts about random people on the street bothers me but only a little it’s when I get them about family members that I find most difficult. I got these thoughts on a Skype call yesterday which triggered all this negativity and sadness. I think I suffered badly with the Skype call as I expected no intrusive thoughts and wasn’t prepared so in theory next time I will expect the thoughts and so they won’t upset me as much. Thanks

POCD

kamac33

Date posted: 5y

Hi! Thanks for being brave enough to share this. I also struggle with the same thing and the same fears are there for me too. I rarely ever talk about it. No one close to me knows and only a couple of therapists in my life have ever known. It’s a difficult one particularly for me because I was a teacher for a long time. I eventually decided I had to leave the field because it was too much though I was in it for a good 10 years. I also find it particularly overwhelmingly and painful when I’m triggered around my niece and nephews because I love them and I know I would never hurt them. But the fear is so much sometimes that I distance myself. It sucks because I want to be close to them. I also find myself not connecting with them very well at times since I do do distance myself. But like you said tomorrow is a new day. I try to remember that and think that as well. I’m new to this platform, but I think it’s a Godsend because I have never even really heard anyone else talk about their experience with POCD until now so I basically felt horrible about myself and thought I was the only one for a long time (like 10 years). So having this space is a miracle. We don’t have to feel alone anymore. Feel free to reach out to talk more. I would love to share experiences and have some people I can talk to who know what this is like.

Nivekstepper

Date posted: 5y

Thanks for your comments karmic. Good to know I’m not alone It’s not specifically for ocd, but there is an app called elefriends you may like. It’s a social media platform for people with mental illness. Wishing you all the best for a strong and stable recovery ?

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