I’m afraid to ask this, but is it common for OCD to present as a fear of wanting to do something bad? I’ve had thoughts like “maybe I do want to”, “just do it”, “that sounds like a good idea” and so on. These thoughts are unwanted, but it makes me really confused and scared because I used to dismiss thoughts by saying I know I don’t want to do that. Has anyone experienced this? I’m afraid to treat this as OCD because they feel more real..

That’s so great to hear someone else goes through this as well. Thanks for being so open and honest!

@199903 No problem. I’m doing ERP and also struggle with the thoughts how do you know you don’t want to” and etc. I’m just trying to cooe

@kleigh21 Cope:/

@kleigh21 That’s my biggest fear as well. The “how do you KNOW you don’t want to?” What helps me to leave the question unanswered is by remembering before I had this thought, I was no more certain, all that’s changed is that I had a thought. So because of that, I sort of know it’s ok to leave it unanswered. Does that make sense?

Wow, same here. I was so worried I was the only one that had these thoughts! Thanks so much for sharing that

@199903 Yeah I thought I was the only one too! I don’t have POCD but I deal mainly with suicidal OCD, harm, etc so when I get the thoughts expressed to me in that fashion it freaks me out!

@Evelyn4416 It’s such a relief to hear that. I’m really, really scared to do ERP in case my fears are actually true. But I know it’s effective for others, so I guess all we can do is try ?

@199903 It’s actually super effective! While I still get the fears and thoughts and whatnot, compared to before ERP it has been a lot better!

@Evelyn4416 Oh my gosh that’s amazing to hear. All I want is some understanding that the thoughts aren’t a reflection of actions.. I just want to move forward with my life and have a family one day when I feel ready without feeling like such a horrible person about to commit a crime.. sorry for venting aha

@199903 I’m also so happy to hear you’ve had some improvement!

@199903 No it’s okay I understand what you mean! You got this!!

https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Violent-and-Sexual-Obsessions.pdf

@NOCD Advocate - Katie That was extremely useful and informative, thank you!

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Thank you, that was very useful. One thing I don’t understand though - how will agreeing with the thoughts and sitting with discomfort make me comfortable enough to be around children again or have my own?

@199903 I think it’s best to remember you don’t have to agree with the thoughts, you just have to accept that they are there, sit with the feeling, acknowledge it and move on. Because if you’re a going back and forth answering the thoughts that’s a compulsion and that’s what makes things worse.

@kleigh21 Yeah, I understand that. But I don’t know how I can move forward with my life without answering the question “am I a pedophile or not”. How am I supposed to have kids without answering that? I’d rather die than hurt them

@199903 You learn that thoughts are just words and pictures in your head. They aren't the same as actions

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I hope one day I can get to that point. Thanks for your help

POCD

@199903 I experience this too. I also have harm ocd. I expose myself to horror films and shows and sometimes I am scared of taking ideas from them and liking it. It’s the worst thought. But if you wanted to do it you wouldn’t be scared by it or have a second thought about it. You wouldn’t care. You know?

@Dess That’s really relieving to hear. I don’t want to look for reassurance, but I was afraid perhaps these thoughts weren’t normal OCD thoughts. Yeah you’re right, I think if I supposedly wanted to do it so much I probably would have found a way instead of sitting here being anxious and horrified. Thanks for your reply ?

@199903 Ofc! Btw sorry if that sounded reassurance-ey. I try to tell myself that because sometimes I come up with worse thoughts and I’m like okay this DEF IS NOT OCD. It’s just trying to trick you and win

@Dess Haha, I think that’s probably the case. I try to tell myself these thoughts never meant a whole lot to me before I had OCD on this topic so I try to just give it a ??‍♀️ and move on but it’s so tough