Do you guys get flashbacks to your childhood and think about how that might have contributed to your OCD? Sometimes I get false memories of me, enjoying staring at some girl. I hate these flashbacks and mental images. I've never looked at a woman in any way other than aesthetically, but with my flashbacks, I feel so uncomfortable and scared. For example, I was rewatching a few ASMR videos to help calm some stress down and suddenly I got a thought of me in the past watching these videos and how I enjoyed watching the lady. I vividly remember that I only watched ASMR for the soothing sounds, not the person doing it. Can OCD and false memory OCD have some type of correlation? (I'm a female btw)

Sexual Orientation OCD

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

It’s all the same thing. HOCD will cause mental review compulsions and sometimes false memories pop in. The false memories can be something completely made up but you wonder “did that really happen” or an event that happened, but there’s ambiguity on “how did I react in that moment? What really happened? I can’t remember exactly” and you start throwing in more details to “finish” the unclear memory, which is all ocd distortion. The fact of the matter is memories are just thoughts about something, and your memory changes based on your present mental state, which happens to be smeared completely by OCD. You won’t find resolution on the memory, whether it was “real” or “false”, so don’t bother trying. You just have to accept you don’t know what happened, and don’t need to know to pursue your values in the present.

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

It's almost like OCD uses everything against you, even the smallest things. Whenever I laugh or smile, my thoughts will be like "did you smile at your thoughts?" "Are you enjoying them?" I absolutely hate it :/

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

@driveby3 Yes!! When you really sink into the ocd hole, it starts to make you doubt everything. “You’re joking with your friends, you’re pretending to be straight like them” “you’re enjoying hanging out with your mom, that’s feminine, you feel like a girl” it’s horrible. And with my ocd I can’t even enjoy watching or listening to romantic tv shows/movies/songs without my brain automatically conjuring it up with it being the same sex like an automatic testing compulsion and it ruins the experience. You lose who the hell you are anymore.

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@evkrey Exactly!! I still have hope that I'll get through this and be myself again :)

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

@driveby3 It’s bad. When I start to try with acceptance, since I’ve been so far in the dark with my ocd, it feels like accepting my fear as true. It’s so difficult but I know I have to walk through this door to get better.

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@evkrey I understand! My ocd has gotten to the point where I get smile urges :/ I'm scared that when I accept my thoughts, I'll turn into my thoughts. The journey to recovery is rough, but we should keep on pushing! We got this :)

ebag

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for this comment!!!

whatifwhatif

Date posted: 5y

@driveby3 Wow this thread has been so amazing to read. Thank you for this❤️

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

@evkrey I feel this way and it’s so bad I dislike it so much

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

y’all want to join a chat we have on Instagram to talk about it? It’s a really supportive ocd group made of ocd sufferers from NOCD (all subtypes pretty much, but primarily pure o variety)

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

@gabegabe Added

mentowillness

Date posted: 5y

my user is @whydoishowerwhydoibath

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

Cool I’ll add you guys right now. It’s open for anyone who reads this thread!! :) my username will come up as “silentklaw”

evkrey

Date posted: 5y

Actually anyone from this thread please join this group as the Instagram group became full! Sorry! But this group has the same people ?: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KO9dl7S22z4ITZI6OYX3bf

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