- Username
- puzzled_nut
- Date posted
- 4y ago
A hard but effective approach: say to yourself i am too ugly to compete with others so i will give up and stop it.
That sounds like body dysmorphia. Comparing and checking and asking for reassurance are definitely OCD symptoms. I wonder if you could potentially reduce your fear of being ugly by looking at some of the ideas and consequences you're attaching to being ugly. I suspect that if you could get the idea of it to have a bit less emotional pull on you, it would help you to feel a bit safer to not do those compulsions. And as you stop the compulsions, the worry is on your mind a lot less and you can even be open to more clearly seeing things which are nice about the way you look. You don't have to love yourself, you can start with just trying to tolerate yourself a bit. Maybe you're not the WORST, yeah? Self compassion is a lot better than self esteem, because it's not dependent on anything. So that means saying nice things to yourself about how you can still have a whole life and would be plenty worthwhile if you were ugly. Self tolerance can develop into a promise to be on your own side more often against judgmental and harsh thoughts.
Thank you for the thoughtful response that was really helpful
I totally get that. I often have felt the same. Just remember, those thoughts are ugly. You are beautiful.
You are beautiful
Maybe my comment was a little too progressive. Try to continue without spending any more time thinking about how you look. I know the people telling you that you are beautiful try to help you, but they don't. They give you Relief in the short term but later on you will need more reassurance. Its Like a drug. You need more and more of it. You have to become independent of idea whether you are beautiful or not and consequently of the reassurance from others that you are not ugly.
I appreciated your original comment and understood where you were coming from. Thanks for this comment as well
You have to be aware that this is ocd/bdd. You could be the most beautiful girl in the world and Miss universe, you would still find something to feel ugly. That is unfortunately in nature of the ocd Game. The only way to win the game is not to play it.
Ugh. I hate ocd ☹️
Yes, it's the pure evil.
Has anyone else had OCD over a person?? In an ugly, anxious way?? Like obsessing over their appearance and what people think of them because you don’t want them to have any good??? I know that sounds awful and I FEEL awful, but I just can’t help it. Don’t know how it was triggered, but I think it usually starts when I think people are full of themselves/narcissistic... I just feel alone :(
I have really terrible ocd over whether everyone hates me. I had a convo with one of my friends (he was initially interested but we just kind of became friends.) He said guys tend to like girls pics when the girl is pretty. He was initially interested in me. I know i sound really bitchy and superficial but I have really low self worth and the ocd isn't helping and I'm kind of hyperfixatijg on my face. I have this insecurity about being south asian. I've been told fairly often that I'm conventionally attractive and can certainly attract people. I'm also like super introverted and have a pretty odd personality for context like in high school people didn't like me because I wasn't like extremely liberal and people were politically correct I just tend to be odd and I feel like that's not acceptable if you're a girl. So I feel everyone just secretly hates me or I'm ugly and these are the two options.
One long-term theme for me is obsessively taking photos of my face and staring at, trying to fix, editing, will away, features that I don’t like. At its worse it will go on for hours like any other self respecting obsession. Does anyone else have this? I also hyperfocus on features and see them through a likely distorted lens, so my nose looks bigger than it is, my face more asymmetrical, etc.
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