I’m unsure how to move on from this particular symptom. I exhibit no warning signs of being dangerous, no history of this behaviour, or having joy and intention to do something sexually inappropriate, but I just have this feeling that I could want to even though I feel so anxious and scared. I’m worried that maybe developing POCD awakened some repressed urge in me to hurt people and it’s just not how I see myself. I don’t WANT to want this, if you know what I mean. This post is scary to make, but I would just like to know if this is normal, I’m worried treatment won’t work for me because I really feel I could be a bad person who does bad things.

Thanks for your reply! The thing is it just feels SO real and I’m so convinced I must want to do these horrible things because I’ve had thoughts like “yup I should do that”. I don’t hear others talking about this much. I’m terrified to stop doing compulsions in case they’re the only thing holding me back from being a monster. I think if I knew other people experienced POCD in this way too, I would be more confident to try accept the thoughts since right now they feel like real, scary threats.

@199903 There's a video on the homepage about the "does anyone else?" question :)

@Scoggy Yes anyone with sexual thoughts experience that! And I have an do as well. Thoughts don’t mean anything. I don’t want to reassure you, but when you have ocd the thoughts FEEL so real. It’s just something you have to accept the uncertainty of and if you do erp you’ll see what I mean. I know sometimes it feels like if you think you could want to do it, but when that happens sit with that thought and that feeling.

@kleigh21 Thanks, that’s great advice. I’m starting ERP soon, I hope it works out well and I can learn to sit with the feeling. When you say thoughts don’t mean anything, I get what you mean for the most part. But it all changed when my thoughts switched to “I should do that” “I want to do that” etc. It made it feel so much more real than just intrusive images and “oh no I could be capable of that”.

@199903 Yes me to. I’ve recently Started having those. And I have bad pocd and am fixing to have my baby in a few days. Trust me I struggle but I am fighting everyday with ERP to get better. It won’t always be bad

Yeah, you’re right. That’s honestly how I’m getting through day by day right now. Thankfully I’m going to be starting ERP soon so hopefully that will help ? Thanks for your reply!

@199903 That's great, that means you're already doing ACT, which is the other best OCD treatment :) recognising we truly can't control everything or know everything, we can only do our best every day and make the choices we want.