hopeful4healing
- Date posted
- 5y
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Gotta stop investigating and ruminating over them. That gets easier over time. Treatment doesn't often bring you a confirmation that your relationship is perfect, but it works because your brain no longer needs it to be perfect. Thoughts mostly go bye-bye. Any that you do still get, you're able to let them pass by without investigation. You end up with a space of much more emotional freedom to be able to see that even if your relationship isn't perfect all the time, that doesn't make it a disaster or a threat. But you can't do treatment by arguing with the thoughts telling them they're not a disaster or a threat. Those deep emotional realisations can come naturally, after treatment where you process your anxieties by staying with the physical feelings instead of investigating them. Treatment can get you to a mature place of knowing that if something is wrong in the relationship you could work on solving it, and that flaws are not threats, so you can make decisions based on what you know instead of based on panic and rumination. The only thing that can forcibly take your relationship from you is OCD. I really recommend doing treatment.
ItsOmarItsOmar
- Date posted
- 5y
My personal opinion is that it’s very natural to get bored and not want to spend time with him. Keep in mind that you’ll be very aware when something is wrong with the relationship and won’t need to be coming here to ask. We all get bored and it’s in fact very common for people who’ve been dating for a while to experience some sort of boredom while spending time together. But whether there’s something wrong in the relationship or not is totally something you would be able to figure out 100% without needing reassurance.
Ditto~Ditto~
- Date posted
- 5y
I get confused on this too because it’s gotten to the point where my bf initiates all our intimate kisses. I am still affectionate in touch though. But I have a lot of guilt because I don’t care to show him attention as much anymore.
Paula33Paula33
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate... its tough to know what to believe. I think what ill do is just go with the flow instead of associating negativity to these things. Maybe the moment we stop judging these thoughts or realities, we will starr to understand better why we feel thus way for real?
Related posts
mri12
- Date posted
- 25w
how can I fix this thought?
For some reason, my brain gets upset when my boyfriend hangs out with other people. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but sometimes I can’t help it. I understand that he has a life outside of our relationship, and that’s great. He reassures me all the time, in fact, he often tells me he would rather spend time with me than with his friends. He’s a perfect partner, and I love him more than anything. However, I don’t want this to become an issue in our relationship. I know why my mind thinks this way, even though I don’t believe it to be true. My brain keeps telling me that he would rather be somewhere else than with me. Those words repeat in my head every time he’s out with friends, and I don’t know why. I want to find a solution to this obsessive and jealous thought so that I don’t ruin his time with friends. I really need help with this issue.❤️
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 25w
respond please
i went to therapy today and i told her about the lack of feeling i gave with my boyfriend, when we do anything, and all the anger i feel for no reason and she somehow told me im not sure i didnt understand it that , it dosent make sense that i want to love him but i dont feel love and i feel disgust when we kiss and thinngs and that i cant accept the truth????? like she is telling me i have lots of fear in me and im telling her im scared that i dont love him but this relationship is making me feel sad and uneassy when i want to be happy and calm bur i kept telling her all of this is bc of the thoughts and she told me that the thoughts are suppose to ease ar least when i am with him… i didnt tell my bf i wrnt to therapy bc he thinks they only want money, and that they can help me but i hav to help myself, and last time i went to therapy i wasnt feeling better and he is wondering how i wasnt feeling any better and that its strange to him to do “steps “ like this bc they only want money. And i left more confused and sad because she confirmed my fears somehow? i dont understand. im just scared i dont actually love him and that i only put high expectations on this relationship and i cant accept the truth. She told me , after i told her i always told people that these thoughts are not true bc they felt out of place, that we can say one thing and feel one thing and i felt like she was telling me again that these thoughts are real. I know im sad and miserable but i dont want to be like this, im scared that i iust matured and i simply dont love him
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 20w
im scared
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
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