- Username
- hopeful4healing
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Gotta stop investigating and ruminating over them. That gets easier over time. Treatment doesn't often bring you a confirmation that your relationship is perfect, but it works because your brain no longer needs it to be perfect. Thoughts mostly go bye-bye. Any that you do still get, you're able to let them pass by without investigation. You end up with a space of much more emotional freedom to be able to see that even if your relationship isn't perfect all the time, that doesn't make it a disaster or a threat. But you can't do treatment by arguing with the thoughts telling them they're not a disaster or a threat. Those deep emotional realisations can come naturally, after treatment where you process your anxieties by staying with the physical feelings instead of investigating them. Treatment can get you to a mature place of knowing that if something is wrong in the relationship you could work on solving it, and that flaws are not threats, so you can make decisions based on what you know instead of based on panic and rumination. The only thing that can forcibly take your relationship from you is OCD. I really recommend doing treatment.
My personal opinion is that it’s very natural to get bored and not want to spend time with him. Keep in mind that you’ll be very aware when something is wrong with the relationship and won’t need to be coming here to ask. We all get bored and it’s in fact very common for people who’ve been dating for a while to experience some sort of boredom while spending time together. But whether there’s something wrong in the relationship or not is totally something you would be able to figure out 100% without needing reassurance.
I get confused on this too because it’s gotten to the point where my bf initiates all our intimate kisses. I am still affectionate in touch though. But I have a lot of guilt because I don’t care to show him attention as much anymore.
I can relate... its tough to know what to believe. I think what ill do is just go with the flow instead of associating negativity to these things. Maybe the moment we stop judging these thoughts or realities, we will starr to understand better why we feel thus way for real?
Is it normal to not miss your partner? Or should I always want them around? I’m home for a few days seeing my parents and I have anxiety about not missing my boyfriend. I of course compulsed and FaceTimed him to test myself but all I felt was anxiety and OCD over his appearance. I just think I should be attracted to him always, and I’m not. I can’t tell if this is just a normal couples thing, or I’m having bad ROCD. Help!
I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(
Hi! I need an opinion! There is this thing that is flaring up my rocd, since always, and I would like to understand the situation better. A little background: me and my bf had some poor moments (a lot of disagreement, delusions etc) pasts months. Now we talked; we decided to try some compromises. One in particular keeps triggering me. I don't understand why for him is okay to see me only a few times (2-3) during the week. We already talked about it, and in this last weeks I saw his efforts so I'm proud of him. (For example now if he have to do something else, and doesn't go out with me one day, he makes plans with for the next one etc). We chat more too! He always give me the goodmorning and goodnight, he always finds some times to at least replay to my messages. But for him, seeing me 2-3 times maximum In a week is enough, he doesn't feel the need or doesn't want me more. I can understand when there is university, when he has to work etc... (I don't like it, but he can be tired and it'd right to take some time alone). But now we have holidays!! And I would love to spend all my time with him, because togheter we have a lot of fun, and all I want is to be in his arms! I would love to make plans, travels, even free experience in thoose days togheter! But he keeps wanting to see me only the 2 or 3 times and I can't understand why for him this is enough!!! (Both of our love languages is quality time! And in the first month I was always above everything else! He said that I'm still important to him etc) I would love some opinions, not to find rassicurations, but to understand better why for him is enough, and his mentality! I can't see how loving someone and not wanting to see her whenever he has the opportunity can get along togheter!!
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