- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Gotta stop investigating and ruminating over them. That gets easier over time. Treatment doesn't often bring you a confirmation that your relationship is perfect, but it works because your brain no longer needs it to be perfect. Thoughts mostly go bye-bye. Any that you do still get, you're able to let them pass by without investigation. You end up with a space of much more emotional freedom to be able to see that even if your relationship isn't perfect all the time, that doesn't make it a disaster or a threat. But you can't do treatment by arguing with the thoughts telling them they're not a disaster or a threat. Those deep emotional realisations can come naturally, after treatment where you process your anxieties by staying with the physical feelings instead of investigating them. Treatment can get you to a mature place of knowing that if something is wrong in the relationship you could work on solving it, and that flaws are not threats, so you can make decisions based on what you know instead of based on panic and rumination. The only thing that can forcibly take your relationship from you is OCD. I really recommend doing treatment.
- Date posted
- 5y
My personal opinion is that it’s very natural to get bored and not want to spend time with him. Keep in mind that you’ll be very aware when something is wrong with the relationship and won’t need to be coming here to ask. We all get bored and it’s in fact very common for people who’ve been dating for a while to experience some sort of boredom while spending time together. But whether there’s something wrong in the relationship or not is totally something you would be able to figure out 100% without needing reassurance.
- Date posted
- 5y
I get confused on this too because it’s gotten to the point where my bf initiates all our intimate kisses. I am still affectionate in touch though. But I have a lot of guilt because I don’t care to show him attention as much anymore.
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate... its tough to know what to believe. I think what ill do is just go with the flow instead of associating negativity to these things. Maybe the moment we stop judging these thoughts or realities, we will starr to understand better why we feel thus way for real?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
- Date posted
- 22w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 15w
Ii spoke w my bf this weekend and he mentioned that he has thoughts just like me, but his don't bother him like me. I then felt a lot better and he tried dissecting one of his thoughts like I usually do and realized it felt more real for him after. That made me realize that none of my thoughts were ever true and I blew them up. However, yesterday I had a thought ab “wait wut if you liked that one guy? How dare you bc youre supposed to love your bf and not secretly like someone else” and treated it as I usually did bc I accidentally wanted to see if it was true but didn't rlly but I would check to see if it was there and now that thought feels so so so real now and I feel really bad how do Ik it's not real? I feel so bad and guilty bc lividly this makes 0 sense but it feels so prominent. It felt pretty real when it happened yesterday too. And now I feel awful bc how is it possible after my clarity the other day? Why does it feel so prominent 😞😞😞
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond