I'm 14 (turning 15 soon) and I believe I have hocd. I'm constantly reassuring myself and checking because I get so paranoid that I might be gay/bi. Growing up, I've always been attracted to men and my first love was a boy. Now, it feels like I'm lesbian or I've been living a lie my entire life. I understand that usually people at my age are questioning their identity, but my thoughts are constant. They won't go away, they're always replaying in my head 24/7 (even in my dreams). Sometimes, I get to a point where those relentless thoughts make me feel so numb and lost. My anxiety has spiked a few weeks ago, so I no longer experience any anxiety. May I add that I've never felt any emotional, romantic, or sexual attachment to the same-sex. I've always found women aesthetically attractive, but nothing more of course. However, my thoughts refuses to understand this whole situation logically. Also, with these constant reoccurring thoughts, I've lost interest in many daily activities I used to enjoy, including reading, playing video games, and dancing. I also noticed that I can't properly concentrate on any school work due to this. Does anyone have advice?

"I am not my thoughts" Your thoughts can cause such misery though. Thank you for your advice!

@stars that’s such a good statement. you are not your thoughts. you are so much more than that!! sometimes it’s hard but when you think about it, it’s good to speak positive mindful things over your identity instead. for instance “i may not understand my thoughts about my sexuality right now BUT i am kind. i am fun. i love to read and dance! i am a good friend/daughter/cousin etc...” the purpose is to name positive things about your core identity that have nothing to do with your sexuality :)

Thanks!!! I started saying it ?

That’s a compulsion if you’re saying it over and over

@stars No no no. Don’t say that, that’s basically a compulsion. It’s good to know that the thoughts aren’t you, but you repeat it over and over that becomes a compulsion. It’s not the right way to beat ocd, if any it’ll make it worse. Sit with your intrusive thought until you become bored of it. That’s how to beat ocd

@sillybilly Hmm that is true actually oops! Sometimes I do say it as a compulsion and to try and get rid of the thoughts and images (not a good idea!) but sometimes it’s just helpful to say it not as a compulsion as you are detaching yourself from it.

@✨. As in not saying it over and over but just saying it once in a while maybe?

I've been doing kind of better. The thing is now I'm going through the backdoor spike and everything is so confusing. I feel like I am my thoughts, but it doesn't feel right :/