Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
loolaloola
- Date posted
- 5y
My friend has this, and as an outside influence I always see how tellling her partner everything she felt compelled to was actually very damaging. It was clear to me she needed to keep some things to herself but she just couldn’t see it. An example would be that she had a few thoughts about her ex, totally harmless and normal, yet she felt she HAD to tell him, I told her over and over that she shouldn’t because it will cause doubt and worry in him which isn’t needed because the thoughts were nothing. She ended up ruining a really great thing. I hope this is helpful at reinforcing to you that it’s fine to not own up to everything, you’re your own person with the rights to your own experiences. They’re not all needed to be shared and it’s totally normal and healthy for that :)
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
That definitely is helpful and I appreciate the real life example. Thank you :)
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah it's usually a moral scrupulosity thing or a harm thing (fear your action or inaction may have harmed others). I have an OCD book which says that feeling compelled to confess things, whether they're true or accurate or not, is an OCD symptom. It's seriously exhausting huh.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Extremely exhausting. And right now I’m struggling with one particular random point in time that I’m afraid if I don’t confess, could ruin a potential relationship
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
@sitwithit247 Yeah it's rough that it's so difficult to tell whether it is the correct thing to do or not if you didn't have the OCD pushing you, and on the opposite side, vulnerability can be terrifying. I like to think of a checklist when it comes to confession, where all the things should be ticked before going ahead with one. It has certainly made me hold my tongue before. I'm sure there are more than this but the ones I can think of are: Not currently (at the moment of telling) feeling strong guilt and urges It wouldn't hurt the person needlessly Other people in this situation would usually tell (it's ok to canvas anonymous opinion so long as it's not done with a particular outcome in mind) You know and trust them to respect the private nature of the personal information and not shame you with it They have also shared things with you and together you are building trust It meets the Stoic principles (Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?) Not telling it with excuses attached nor with excess self hate/blame which prevent the message coming through to them for what it is, to take it or leave it Now is an appropriate time and place If it doesn't meet all of those, I recommend processing the guilt feelings instead without going over the thoughts in your head, because the feelings eventually do digest if you let them happen. It can be much easier to know whether sharing the information is the right thing to do AFTER digesting OCD guilt.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Scoggy That is extremely helpful and kind of you to share all of that information with me. Thank you :)
Fear Strikes OutFear Strikes...
- Date posted
- 5y
It's probably related to scrupulosity.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I struggled with scrupulosity a ton as a child but not as much anymore. This feels more Relationship ocd themed. Do you think that two can coincide?
Fear Strikes OutFear Strikes...
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you in treatment?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Not currently. Just on medication
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