For those, but specifically females who suffer from HOCD, do you find the OCD thoughts switching up on you? I went to my first meeting with my therapist, as they were talking my thoughts were like, “No, I’m gay. I like girls.” Like it was this switch. When before I was obsessing and fearing over being gay. Then there was this sensation of pleasure, like my body liked the thought and my mind was I exhausted to counter the thoughts but it didn’t fee right. My HOCD has now fixated on “boyish” females and I get that weird pleasure sensation that didn’t I have to before. I know we tend to feel more for the things we don’t want but OCD is a vicious monster.

Sexual Orientation OCD

tolandkm

Date posted: 5y

I understand this!! It’s like I’m happy being straight but it’s like my mind won’t accept me being straight which is weird. I don’t really want to be gay but at this point it’s like my mind makes wants me to be gay. I heard when the fear doesn’t sound that scary anymore that you are recovering even though it isn’t the end result that you want. Stay strong!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I’m trying but it’s so scary cause I’m not longer fighting. I’m just accepting it but there’s this small fear I’m gonna act on it, but I’m holding myself from compulsions... almost. ?

tolandkm

Date posted: 5y

@Anonymous I understand! But we will get through this! Stay strong! Just let your thoughts be thoughts!!!

Anónima

Date posted: 5y

I think OCD tries to take the theme, twist and manipulate it into any scenario we can possibly think of. It’s good that you’re simply noticing it, try your best not to give into assigning meaning to these thoughts

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Yes, for me it’s easier to take the thought but not the body sensations and feelings that goes along with it.

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

I feel this a lot. It happens to me as well

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for sharing!

Jas

Date posted: 5y

same. My hocd has fixated on lesbians that look somewhat like boys ? I don’t know if I’m attracted to them but I always get anxiety looking at them tho .

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Yes!!! It’s so horrible now I almost have a panic attack if I look at them. My HOCD always made me feel uncomfortable looking at them but when I tried to expose myself, it back fired.

Jas

Date posted: 5y

@Anonymous I try to do the same by exposing myself but it just brings more thoughts and pain

becca123

Date posted: 5y

I can kinda relate to what your saying. Like for example my ocd goes back and forth that what if I’m attracted to real girly girl ya or just beautiful women. And then it could turn too what if im attracted to boyish/butchy girls. Sometimes it could be both at the same time. It’s definitely frustrating. But I’m pretty sure it’s just the ocd trying to convince me that I’m just a straight lesbian whether it’s a girly girl or a boyish girl. But in reality I’m pretty sure lesbians usually have a preference for that stuff like what type of girl they like if it’s a boyish girl or a girly girly. And I believe it works the same for gay guys

becca123

Date posted: 5y

@ta Yes mine targets both pretty much sometimes one more than the other

becca123

Date posted: 5y

@ta Makes no sense but that’s just typical ocd for ya

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