hocd doesn't feel like hocd. Initially when I got it, I was sure I had hocd. But now...I feel like I don't wanna be straight anymore. I have no attraction to guys, no imagination and after hocd I can't imagine or think of a guy's face or body anymore!!! This last thing bothers me so much. I feel like I've forced myself to like guys. I used to love speaking about guys, marriage, bf etc. But now whenever I talk about it I feel like I'm in comouslory heterosexuality because I don't get the same emotions and feelings I used to have before hocd. My mom showed me this guy and I said he was hot but when I came back to my room, I felt gay...very gay. This is scaring me so much that Ive become gay.

Same. I just feel so gay. I cried but I don't know for what... Like my mind I'd a mess. I can't think rationally. I feel like I wanna be gay and bisexual but I'm repressing. I feel like I actually do like girls but I'm repressing. Like I remember before hocd, how much I loved guys!! Sexual and romantic fantasies about them made me happy. I can't imagine s guy's face and it irritates and distresses me which makes me feel like I'm distressed at the thought of guys ugh

@sanzida? Same here. Loved fantasizing about men but now I can’t. It sucks

@tolandkm I know. Ngl I kind of feel like I could be biromantic but then I get worried that I'm only attracted to girls because I wanna be into guys like before

Same!!

Thank you for this. But you know I got s thought...what if I do like girls and I'm just choosing to not acknowledge it though I don't enjoy the thoughts? It's scaring me a little

@sanzida? Same, it's like "you had girl crushes before" etc. I'm pretty sure i never felt any romantic attraction to a girl before but my ocd is telling me i'm lying :/ ugh

@stars Same but I once did wonder what's it like but j felt weird afterwards. Do your thoughts ever tell you like "ugh you're gonna miss out on girls"? And then you feel a bit guilty?

@sanzida? same!! sometimes i think about a future with my crush and ocd tells me that i'll never be truly happy with a boy.

@stars Me too,. Every night i imagine about my crush but then I feel like I'm forcing myself but I genuinely want it!!

@sanzida? me too!! before this, i daydreamed normally without the forced feeling

@stars Same!!!? I wish I could do that again ?

@stars Could I talk to you about something? I'm a little worried

@sanzida? sure! my reddit is driveby3

@stars I don't use Reddit because if triggers :(. Do you have insta? I'm sorry for being pathetic

@stars Oh thank you so much!! ?

It's when a gay person forces themselves to be straight though they aren't comfortable