Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

i started to ignore the thoughts and then when they came they meant nothing to me. now i feel like i’ve accepted them and i’m becoming them because i now no longer have anxiety and i used to feel disgust about the thoughts, i don’t even have anxiety about not having anxiety.(the thoughts feel more real)

Sexual Orientation OCD

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

It feels like you don't care but you still care. I go through these stages all the time, especially when my thoughts start fading which scares me :/ When I go through this phase, I find it humbling because I actually get to do stuff.

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

Exactly!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

but like the disgust has gone and now i feel like this shit has changed me yk, like i don’t get why but like it feels more real

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Yeah, I only make a disgust face and my chest tightens sometimes. I believe this happens when you're mentally exhausted and numb. The thoughts took all your energy and you body can't fight it anymore.

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

@stars Same I have had the disgust go away or more of I’m scared I’m lying about the disgust and I actually like it. I wanna cry when I feel like that:(

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@hate_ocd.123 I'm not trying reassure you, but ocd makes eveything confusing and we can't comprehend anything. I understand what you're going through and I'mcurrently going through the same thing. We'll get through this though.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@stars sameee thing, disgust face and stomach tense

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@stars I make that disgust face and my heart has that dropping feeling or sometimes it just aches :(. Rn it's doing the same cause I feel really gay ?

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? ME TOO! My crush texted me and I felt nothing, and my ocd is making me think that I'll end up with a girl and that I'll only be happy if I date one ???

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@stars same here, like i was so strongly straight and now it’s making me feel gay. but i don’t have anxiety

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh I don't want to date a girl, I don't even want to do anything with them. However, my thoughts are telling me that I'm lying to myself ??

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@stars Omg that's so bad!!! That's so bad!!! Oh god. I tried to imagine myself with my crush today and I feel nothing. I was so scared. I felt like I'll truly become bisexual/gay omg!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@stars same like i tell my self that i don’t want to then it’s like what if and it’s making me feel like i’m denying even tho ik i love my girl

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@stars I don't want to do anything like sexual with them at all too!!!! ???

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

Yeah, I'm kind of going through this phase. I believe it's called the "i am bored" phase:https://www.scribd.com/doc/215149439/HOCD-What-It-is-and-What-to-Do-About-It

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

Oof I can relate!! I have this!!

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

Do y’all ever feel like you almost want it? Like you wouldn’t mind it ? that’s how I’m feeling rn And I’m scared that I’m actually a lesbian cause I don’t wanna be but I feel like I am I just wanna like guys so badly but can’t :(

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

All the time omg :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@stars but i don’t always get anxiety?

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Yeah, a lot of people barley feel anymore anxiety due to the mental exhaustion

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@stars yeah today i felt a lot more anxiety tho

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

Same same same same!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? but sometimes i don’t get anxiety at all

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh I don't get anxiety either but I'm genuinely scared :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? yeah same but like yeah sometimes it feels like i want it, but then i get the stomach and face scrunch

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Same. I only have physical reaction no mental one. That scares me!! :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? sometimes i don’t even get physical ones

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh that just makes me feel it’s even more real

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Omg yes!! But You're still scared yk? :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? yes but sometimes not

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh but then when i go back to thinking i’m straight i’m happy again

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Damn wish I could be like that!! I wanna feel straight and happy again. God I'm so anxious right now, my heart is beating, aches and I'm uncomfy. I want to feel and be straight again :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? but i don’t really feel happy at all, cause this feels all so real, when i had anxiety it was kinda reassuring that i wasn’t it but now i don’t have that it just makes me feel like i like the thoughts

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Yeah same :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@sanzida? like ik i don’t like the thoughts but i kinda don’t know yk

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Idek if I have physical or mental reactions. I just know I’m scared and don’t want it. And I get this feeling in my eyes where it’s like tears and heat and it feels like my head is heating up. When I’m really scared I’ll have my heart drop but that’s rare

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@hate_ocd.123 same i don’t want it, head replaces every word with gay

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh but 3 days ago i felt so sick about it

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@hate_ocd.123 now it makes me feel like it’s ok

san🌻

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Yeah I get that feeling too :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@hate_ocd.123 but also i sometimes i don’t get scared yk ?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

sometimes yeah, but then i also have times when i’m like no i’m straight and that’s it

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

but then it makes me feel like i’m in denial

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

sometimes i say i don’t want to be this and it replaces it with the opposite

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

I’ve gone through that :/

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

but when i say i’m straight it just makes me feel like i’m in denial, but ik i love my girlfriend

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

why does it do this

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh Idek....I’m really confused as well. I haven’t been able to feel any attraction towards another guy (except my ex). It sucks so much. I want to be attracted to a guy so freaking badly and not have my mind tell me it’s gross when I want it so bad. I get so jealous when I see my friends that are girls being attracted to guys cause I’m like that’s not fair I want that so badly. :/

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@hate_ocd.123 wait so did u go through what i went through?

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh I have before yes

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

like u thought u was beating it then u get no anxiety and it feels more real and u don’t get any anxiety about that ?

hate_ocd.123

Date posted: 5y

Yes or I just to completely numb to the thoughts and it feels like I want them but I still don’t but I get no anxiety and then I worry that I do want them and ya It’s a whole annoying cycle

Date posted: 5y

Accepting the thoughts and not allowing them to cause you distress is a sign you are recovering from your symptoms the thoughts only has as much power as we allow them to have.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

it’s making me feel like it’s more real now i have no anxiety

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 25w

Numb and engaging more with thoughts? Help?

I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/

Rayanswaid

Date posted: 24w

Realizing That Thoughts Are Just Thoughts.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how OCD changes the way we see ourselves, but I recently realized that I am not my thoughts. Just because a thought pops up doesn’t mean it’s true or that it defines me. I’ve started learning how to see OCD for what it is—just a disorder trying to trick me—and I’ve become stronger in dealing with it. Has anyone else here had a similar realization? How do you handle these thoughts when they show up?

anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

hocd

I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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