Also I’m freaking out right now because there was something in my fridge that I used like an hour ago. And I just went back to get it but it’s gone. It’s not there and I’ve checked everywhere. And nobody has been into the kitchen since. I’m scared that this is like a glitch in my simulation or something. My solipsism and anxiety surrounding it always goes up when things like this happen. There’s no explanation. I feel like I’m going insane.

That nothing is real. That my simulation is glitiching

@garden :) Do you have anyone to talk to about this is person? I suggest doing so if you are comfortable since having someone by your side is very supporting. If not then I can try and help. I’m just a little confused on what your dealing with, if you can explain more that would be nice, if not that’s okay too!

@emmaann I just have this constant fear that nothing beyond my own existence is real. And little things like this prove it. Little coincidences. They terrify me honestly. I’m scared everyone in my life is programmed. And that I’m manipulated by this system to believe I have OCD as an excuse, when really, they’re trying to convince me out of it so I don’t find out. I know this sounds literally insane. I hate it. I wish I was ignorant and oblivious to this idea. Thanks for trying to help me though. It means a lot ? I don’t know what to do

@garden :) If it makes you feel any better, I used to have OCD that I was the only person who was real and that everyone else was some kind of a puppet being controlled by a higher power. I’m sorry that you’re having this OCD! It doesn’t sound insane to me, it just sounds like OCD. Are you doing ERP?

@Yayfortherapy No. I don’t really know how to, especially when I have so much doubt in myself that it’s even ocd / that ocd therapy would work on it. What did you do?

@garden :) I did ERP therapy for OCD. It helped so much. Well, I think you could probably have an appointment with an OCD therapist and they could probably help you determine if it’s OCD. If it is, they can help you treat it. If not, maybe they can refer you to another therapist who might be able to treat your condition. Do you find yourself trying to do things to check whether the world is real or not? Like trying to relieve the anxiety by “figuring it out?” Or do you do certain things to test the world? Those would be indications that it’s OCD

@Yayfortherapy I just try and reassure myself over and over that things are real. But I can’t prove anything so I guess it’s hard to have compulsions. Reality is the biggest uncertainty.

@garden :) You’re not insane. You are strong for putting up with this! I’m not sure what to necessarily do to overcome this fear... there might be meditation or therapies for it. Or medication, but if you are afraid of talking your parents that’s totally understandable, it is hard to open up when we feel so stressed. Maybe try and not give the thoughts much time and energy? When you think that you are being programmed or manipulated, just say “okay, maybe I am, who cares”. I know it’s so hard but accepting the fear will make it less powerful and you can eventually not be triggered by it