- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I know how you feel
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. I feel not that lonely. My brain distorted the meaning of something so much I can't visualize peacefully. Just this morning I got my imagination back for no reason and I was happy but also nervous that I'm forcing. And now it got distorted and now whenever I imagine a guy and his face is blank I feel so uncomfortable and scared. I don't want it to be like that!!
- Date posted
- 5y
Do u have instagram or whatās app so we can chat
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah my @ on Instagram is sanzide
- Date posted
- 5y
There's a picture of an anime girl sleeping on a desk
- Date posted
- 5y
Why don't you want to be like that ? It is just a mental picture of guy with a blank face. It means nothing, don't put a meaning on it.
- Date posted
- 5y
It does have a meaning from the things I have read and I don't want it to be true at all. This could mean I'm gay. Apart from that it's uncomfortable to think of a guy with a blank face. It is not just a mental picture that I'm creating. It's stressing me tf out
- Date posted
- 5y
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. I would say stop searching those things up and you know your brain has put a distortion on it so just tell OCD ābring it onā and put your game face on, donāt react, say okay or maybe and move on with your life. You got this
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. But I really can't do it. I can't be ambiguous about my sexuality. Im in a severe state where I don't have anxiety but I'm very scared. Today I woke up having a horrible dream about girls though I was relatively fine :(. Its stressing me out a lot. Hopefully it will be okay ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@sanzida? Yes it has happened to me and I donāt get anxiety anymore which is so so scary. I have dreams where I literally have HOCD and ROCD in them and I even reassure myself in the dreams. It is SO weird
- Date posted
- 5y
@takingmylifeback I reassure myself too but lately everything is triggering me. I feel so gay, I don't want to be gay but I feel like I'm lying :(. I'm not getting very anxious but I still have that concerned look on my face
- Date posted
- 5y
@sanzida? I feel this so much. I really donāt want to be gay or bisexual or have thoughts like this. I wanna live my straight happy life with my boyfriend. Iām tired of it. I just want to know 100% that Iām straight
- Date posted
- 5y
@takingmylifeback Me too :(. I don't have a bf but I want one, like really badly. I wish I had one. Does it help your hocd since you have a bf? I suppose not since you'd still have doubts if you're lying to your partner
- Date posted
- 5y
@sanzida? Heās been there for me always but it started because of my boyfriends. I had ROCD first and still do but now itās both of them and it makes it so hard because my bf makes me so so happy and I wanna marry him so itās so hard to deal with it
- Date posted
- 5y
@takingmylifeback That's so nice of him. Oh! You guys seem just like those couple goals on insta. I'm so sorry that you deal with rocd, it isn't something nice to go through :(. I have experiencrd it a little during a brief relationship I had but not to a great extent. I hope you recover soon
- Date posted
- 5y
@sanzida? Awe this makes me happy thank you!! And Iām also sorry you have to deal with this. I know we will get through it
- Date posted
- 5y
@takingmylifeback Hopefully, I just wish I could go back to being straight and happy and not have my imagination for guys so distorted :(. Like they have literally started to look like Picasso's paintings. I feel uncomfortable but also comfortable. My OCD makes me feel guilty for not liking girls ?. I never felt this way beofre :(
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- 5y
@sanzida? Iām so sorry you got this
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- 5y
@takingmylifeback I'm sorry for you as well. Thank you for being here to support ā¤ļø
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- 5y
@takingmylifeback God I have started to contemplate if Id like dicks on girls and it's making me uncomfortable ? but also giving me groinals. God I feel like this is true now :(
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- 5y
@sanzida? Just donāt respond to it. Say okay and do something else
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- 5y
@takingmylifeback I'm doing an assignment and I'm so distracted by it ?
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- 5y
@sanzida? Breathe and tell OCD ābring it onā
- Date posted
- 5y
@takingmylifeback Okay then :( I'll try to say that
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that itās most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like Iāve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I donāt feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. Iāve never felt this weirded out. Because Iāve always been straight and still believe I am but Iāve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I donāt believe Iām gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I donāt hate the idea of gay people but I canāt imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I havenāt really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didnāt last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. Iāve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. Iāve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I donāt want this. But I hate how I canāt just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It wonāt quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. Iām lonely I donāt have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe Iām straight and I just canāt see myself with a guy. It just doesnāt feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because thatās where I can have peace of self. It sucks but Iām so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I canāt even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but Iām scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldnāt ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes Iām religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. Iāve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. Iāve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But itās still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I donāt suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I donāt wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 16w
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping Iād start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like Iām gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do Iāll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that Iāll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts donāt even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
- Date posted
- 16w
im so scared that this is just denial and that im actuall gay. idk what to do anymore i need help. its just constant anxiety in my chest and i hate it. is there anything i can do to help?
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