Can someone please help of maybe keep me company?...so many things just happened in one night. I searched up what blank face meant and my brain distorted in and suddenly the guys in my fantasies all have a blank expression. Like it's making me uncomfortable :(. I had a dream that I was in a threedome with two girls and I felt something down there. I feel so uncomfortable but also not so anxious. I'm so stressed, I just fucking woke up :( ughh. I wish I could die at this point. I'm so so scared that I'm gay secretly and denying it. :(

Thank you. I feel not that lonely. My brain distorted the meaning of something so much I can't visualize peacefully. Just this morning I got my imagination back for no reason and I was happy but also nervous that I'm forcing. And now it got distorted and now whenever I imagine a guy and his face is blank I feel so uncomfortable and scared. I don't want it to be like that!!

Yeah my @ on Instagram is sanzide

There's a picture of an anime girl sleeping on a desk

It does have a meaning from the things I have read and I don't want it to be true at all. This could mean I'm gay. Apart from that it's uncomfortable to think of a guy with a blank face. It is not just a mental picture that I'm creating. It's stressing me tf out

Thank you. But I really can't do it. I can't be ambiguous about my sexuality. Im in a severe state where I don't have anxiety but I'm very scared. Today I woke up having a horrible dream about girls though I was relatively fine :(. Its stressing me out a lot. Hopefully it will be okay ?

@sanzida? Yes it has happened to me and I don’t get anxiety anymore which is so so scary. I have dreams where I literally have HOCD and ROCD in them and I even reassure myself in the dreams. It is SO weird

@takingmylifeback I reassure myself too but lately everything is triggering me. I feel so gay, I don't want to be gay but I feel like I'm lying :(. I'm not getting very anxious but I still have that concerned look on my face

@sanzida? I feel this so much. I really don’t want to be gay or bisexual or have thoughts like this. I wanna live my straight happy life with my boyfriend. I’m tired of it. I just want to know 100% that I’m straight

@takingmylifeback Me too :(. I don't have a bf but I want one, like really badly. I wish I had one. Does it help your hocd since you have a bf? I suppose not since you'd still have doubts if you're lying to your partner

@sanzida? He’s been there for me always but it started because of my boyfriends. I had ROCD first and still do but now it’s both of them and it makes it so hard because my bf makes me so so happy and I wanna marry him so it’s so hard to deal with it

@takingmylifeback That's so nice of him. Oh! You guys seem just like those couple goals on insta. I'm so sorry that you deal with rocd, it isn't something nice to go through :(. I have experiencrd it a little during a brief relationship I had but not to a great extent. I hope you recover soon

@sanzida? Awe this makes me happy thank you!! And I’m also sorry you have to deal with this. I know we will get through it

@takingmylifeback Hopefully, I just wish I could go back to being straight and happy and not have my imagination for guys so distorted :(. Like they have literally started to look like Picasso's paintings. I feel uncomfortable but also comfortable. My OCD makes me feel guilty for not liking girls ?. I never felt this way beofre :(

@sanzida? I’m so sorry you got this

@takingmylifeback I'm sorry for you as well. Thank you for being here to support ❤️

@takingmylifeback God I have started to contemplate if Id like dicks on girls and it's making me uncomfortable ? but also giving me groinals. God I feel like this is true now :(

@sanzida? Just don’t respond to it. Say okay and do something else

@takingmylifeback I'm doing an assignment and I'm so distracted by it ?

@sanzida? Breathe and tell OCD “bring it on”

@takingmylifeback Okay then :( I'll try to say that