- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
You wrote this perfectly. I feel very similarly; my Pure OCD has manifested into something so hard to identify. It’s unique but not in a way that makes it easier to combat. Infact, if I were to see a therapist tomorrow, they’d probably doubt I even had it, because my obsessions constantly change and my compulsions are almost a part of me. I do them without realising, and it’s so easy for me to seek reassurance too. It’s thought after thought, and none of them are truly solved (but I understand that solving them is the problem). I can’t stick to one ‘theme’ because it always a changes. But at the end of the day, there’s still one thing that everybody with OCD can do to recover, and that’s cutting out compulsions. I just wish to be understood sometimes idk.
- Date posted
- 5y
That was huge to me too. I think there’s a fine line between seeking reassurance and sometimes just having someone to understand the frustrating complexity of it all
- Date posted
- 5y
Sometimes it helps to journal to get all the worries out on a page to get the anxiety up, and then once you feel anxious just stop and sit with it. Obviously this might be more helpful if you do it with a professional though.
- Date posted
- 5y
I am glad that you’ve sorted out that your compulsions are mental. And that mental and physical compulsions actually play the same role in OCD. I think you could do some more work though to understand the difference between an obsession, trigger, intrusive thought, and compulsion. Because there are distinct differences. While the content of these might differ person to person — example: one persons compulsion may be another’s trigger — the definitions of these things stay consistent. And they have a pretty formulaic role in OCD. You likely wouldn’t trace ALL of your obsessions back to one specific trigger. And triggers don’t necessarily have to come from your environment (example: some people are triggered by a fast heart rate, which is a sensation.) It seems like you are either misunderstanding what a trigger is here or an obsession or both. These misunderstandings are very normal though, and it usually takes time in proper treatment to really make these concepts stick. The way people discuss themes can be quite confusing. People talk as if POCD and HOCD are different diagnosis when they are both the same OCD, just focused on different ideas or concepts. And while certain themes are more popular in the community, and that’s why they get a shorthand, they can look totally different from person to person.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t really think I’m misunderstanding it. I understand the differences well, I’m just saying that my own intrusive thoughts act as triggers for more intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, and rumination, and that rumination can trigger subsequent lines of worries and ruminations, all becoming quite circular. In the end, instead of over-analyzing it all, I just realized I was engaging compulsive behavior trying to figure out EXACTLY what was happening at each stage, and instead took a step back and said to myself “oh that’s ocd cycling”, and decided to sit there with it instead of re-triggering more and more worries and more and more answer-seeking on top of it.
- Date posted
- 5y
@DoIreallyHaveOCD? Because there are times when something triggers me, e.g. I see something on TV or social media, and it triggers obsessive doubts, but then there are times when obsessive doubts start up completely at random. It’s my minds tendency to be scanning for threats regardless of what content or triggers are in front of me.
- Date posted
- 5y
@DoIreallyHaveOCD? Unless u can explain more about what u mean, by all means...
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly. My ocd is all about obsessive thinking patterns ...I feel like my day to day thinking Is constantly affected by it. But knowing that I have pure ocd really helps...I say to my self : 99% is my ocd and not me! and after 5 minutes or less of anxiety I forget even what was the theme...
- Date posted
- 5y
It's all about trying to be detached from what you are thinking .
- Date posted
- 5y
What are some examples of your mental exposures? I suffer from pure o as well and I’m looking for guidance in that :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Good question— that question spurred countless hours of stress and rumination because I couldn’t figure it out. It even puzzled my therapists, and I ended up kind of steering one of my therapists to the way I use now. I think there there are resources online, but one of the main compulsive things I do is to KEEP ruminating over something, to keep re-living past events... like I’m checking and researching in my mind. So what I do is intentionally set aside time to do exposures where I lean into thoughts that I typically ruminate about, and think of worse case scenarios or whatever gets the worry engine running... then I’ll notice the urge to ruminate over it and just sit with that discomfort and continually resist the compulsion to ruminate (response prevention). Fear is urging us to think MORE to find some certainty, to answer-seek (find reassurance). One thing I ruminate about is whether I’m living the right life, so sometimes I’ll sit down and intentionally think “I may be living the wrong life, and I may regret the decisions I’ve made.” And I’ll sit with that anxiety until it lessens or if my mind trails off to something else or if I have some sort of insightful feeling. It’s like a leap of faith— you confront and listen to your worst fears without trying to reassure yourself then just wait until your body processes it in some type of way. Usually my anxiety just dies down a bit and I get bored and I say “good enough” for that go-round, then usually the perspective shift gradually sets in. I think it’s important to not do too triggering of an exposure right before bed though because that can backfire. If you want to do a really triggering one, give yourself some time in the middle of the day.
Related posts
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 23w
I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!
- Date posted
- 11w
I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again" Love you!!!
- Date posted
- 11w
So... I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to do any of the things I loved; OCD took the joy out of it. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again." Love you!!!
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