The last couple of days have been rough. I've been having just generalized anxiety due to the pandemic, but I'm sure so are many others. Unfortunately, I've also been lagging in doing my exercises, so been dealing with OCD thoughts, too. Most of the day I feel as though I can't do anything. I love to draw, play video games and etc., but I get so worked up over my thoughts that I don't even attempt to do them. Anxiety can be quite difficult to get over sometimes. I think I just needed to vent, mostly. I'm going to start up exercising again tomorrow, so hopefully I can get back on track. Stay strong. ♡

Religion & Spirituality OCD

irish_and_ocd

Date posted: 5y

You can do it. Stay strong. Keep pushing. Stick to your homework. Setbacks are normal but take back ground. You can do this :)

spacebear

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for the support~

gitoutmeswamp

Date posted: 5y

Man this is hard... I am sorry. I have been struggling with my spirituality recently because my husband and I have started trying for kids. Unsuccessfully so far. ? I am 22 now but have been taking care of kids almost nonstop since I was 18 (whether that be my nieces, my career, or most recently/notably raising my 9 year old nephew for the past year). I feel like I am proving every single day that I would be a good mom. I have a binder full of workbooks and cycle tracking, I have researched methods on how to raise kids and have taken pages upon pages of notes that are also in the binder, I have recently begun reading books on these certain methods that I think will create the most supportive environment for our kids and try to incorporate them into how I raise my nephew. Yet month after month, we are unsuccessful. Why? I feel like I am being punished or that I haven't proven myself enough to God that I have what it takes to be a good mom. I know that rationally that has nothing to do with why we still haven't been able to conceive and that it will happen when God thinks we are ready. But why? What haven't I done to show God I can be a good mom? I am not even biologically related to my nephew and I was the one who spearheaded him coming to live with us because I couldn't stand the lack of nurturing he was dealing with (though it isn't entirely his dad's fault since he has 3 younger brothers and 2 of them are severely disabled and his dad is a single working dad). I know it isn't that I am not doing the right thing, but it is hard to pull myself away from these feelings. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know that I am not alone in my struggles, even if my struggles aren't exactly the same as yours. I know we can come out of this much stronger, it is just the day to day battles that are hard to loom past. ❤

spacebear

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for sharing, too. My sister's son is almost two, and I love him and want to make him happy. A couple of years earlier, I would flat out admit I wasn't good with kids. But I want to try for him, you know? I think you sound like you'd be an excellent parent. I hope that you and your husband find happiness and hope in your future. ♡

gitoutmeswamp

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for the kind message! It can be scary because women on both sides of our family have taken 5+ years to conceive. Yikes! But that is why we started early, I guess. ?? OCD can be a real bully, but I know we can all come out of this stronger than we went into it, especially with such a supportive community.

spacebear

Date posted: 5y

We can both stay strong.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 23w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

Michele32

Date posted: 21w

Past and OCD

I hope everyone is doing well today, and for those of you who are struggling my thoughts and prayers are with you. Just know your moment of peace is coming soon. I think it’s important that we post / come on here every now and again even when we are not in a moment of pure panic and fear. Remember that we are not our thoughts as hard as it is to understand. Remember that OCD makes it feel “real” and that OCD will always make us think the most inappropriate things and the most inappropriate times. Remember that all humans, have thoughts that come and go and as hard as it can be to understand you are not alone in your thoughts that feel so unique. For me I get a lot of anxiety from thoughts I used to have , which of course makes them return in full throttle. The more I push them away the more they come back. And those thought makes new connections to those things in my life I value. OCD is a pain but it’s important that as much as you hate it you learn to be compassionate and understanding that it’s there to “help” you no matter how bad it does it job sometimes. Stay strong everyone

nae nae

Date posted: 20w

Rough night :(

Lately, my mood shifts so frequently. A couple of minutes ago, I got triggered and decided that instead of doing a compulsion, I'd write in my journal (since I haven't done that in a while). But after writing not even half a page... I'm okay? Well, sorta! 😭 I'm experiencing a resurgence in old obsessions, which is disappointing. A couple of weeks back, I was doing a lot better, but now it's just one thing after another. Really wish therapy was more affordable. I'm already seeing my psychiatrist, but she wants me to see a specialist as well. When I think about living with this for the rest of my life, I can get a little emotional. I know it'll get easier to manage as time passes, and it might not even affect me in the future, but right now...? It's a lot of work I'll need to do to overcome this. I'm willing to do it, but I get discouraged at times... But that's enough of my little vent! I hope anyone who reads this is doing okay. Hang in there 🤍

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