The last couple of days have been rough. I've been having just generalized anxiety due to the pandemic, but I'm sure so are many others. Unfortunately, I've also been lagging in doing my exercises, so been dealing with OCD thoughts, too. Most of the day I feel as though I can't do anything. I love to draw, play video games and etc., but I get so worked up over my thoughts that I don't even attempt to do them. Anxiety can be quite difficult to get over sometimes. I think I just needed to vent, mostly. I'm going to start up exercising again tomorrow, so hopefully I can get back on track. Stay strong. ♡

You can do it. Stay strong. Keep pushing. Stick to your homework. Setbacks are normal but take back ground. You can do this :)

Thank you for the support~

Man this is hard... I am sorry. I have been struggling with my spirituality recently because my husband and I have started trying for kids. Unsuccessfully so far. ? I am 22 now but have been taking care of kids almost nonstop since I was 18 (whether that be my nieces, my career, or most recently/notably raising my 9 year old nephew for the past year). I feel like I am proving every single day that I would be a good mom. I have a binder full of workbooks and cycle tracking, I have researched methods on how to raise kids and have taken pages upon pages of notes that are also in the binder, I have recently begun reading books on these certain methods that I think will create the most supportive environment for our kids and try to incorporate them into how I raise my nephew. Yet month after month, we are unsuccessful. Why? I feel like I am being punished or that I haven't proven myself enough to God that I have what it takes to be a good mom. I know that rationally that has nothing to do with why we still haven't been able to conceive and that it will happen when God thinks we are ready. But why? What haven't I done to show God I can be a good mom? I am not even biologically related to my nephew and I was the one who spearheaded him coming to live with us because I couldn't stand the lack of nurturing he was dealing with (though it isn't entirely his dad's fault since he has 3 younger brothers and 2 of them are severely disabled and his dad is a single working dad). I know it isn't that I am not doing the right thing, but it is hard to pull myself away from these feelings. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know that I am not alone in my struggles, even if my struggles aren't exactly the same as yours. I know we can come out of this much stronger, it is just the day to day battles that are hard to loom past. ❤

Thank you for sharing, too. My sister's son is almost two, and I love him and want to make him happy. A couple of years earlier, I would flat out admit I wasn't good with kids. But I want to try for him, you know? I think you sound like you'd be an excellent parent. I hope that you and your husband find happiness and hope in your future. ♡

We can both stay strong.