Having a really bad day today. I’ve had moments when I think I’m just going to accept I’m gay and that I’m in denial and this relieves my anxiety for about 10 minutes and then I start crying because I don’t really want that. Has anyone found that their OCD has manipulated memories of when they were young? Like maybe they mean I was gay? I had a thought yesterday were I was like did I find my mums body arousing when I was a kid, does that mean I’m gay. ITS TERRIFYING ME. My OCD makes me feel like I’m living a lie and I just need accept that I’m gay. I’ve now lost all attraction to men and think I only find women attractive :( Does anyone’s OCD makes them want to act impulsively, like I’m just going to tell everyone I’m bisexual and break up with my boyfriend in hope that these anxieties will go away. But I don’t want that, I want to be with my boyfriend, I want to feel connected to him again. Also is anyone petrified that these thoughts will come back in future even if they get over them now? I have this horrible image of me getting over this, being fine and then having children and getting triggered and then realising I’m gay and having to come out. It makes me so scared, and that I should come out as gay now and I’ll be happy. Also did anyone do any sexual exploration as a young kid, obviously not knowing what it meant at the time and feel this must make them gay as they think they remember enjoying it? I was like 5/6 and i bully myself all the time about it. Does anyone test themselves in public or when watching a film? Like I see if I’m turned on by women and get that feeling and I can’t work out if I do or if it’s just because I’m focusing attention their. But also I look at men now and feel nothing. Do people every wonder if HOCD is even real? Do people ever get over OCD? Literally OCD is slowly ruining my life and I just want to give up.