I’m confused on ERP. It works on the assumption that the individual definitely has OCD and definitely won’t act out and all the thoughts are meaningless. But how can they be sure? ERP is literally throwing caution to the wind in the hope that you habituate and your thoughts bother you less. It sounds great for other people! I’m sure people who really have OCD have so much relief and I wish them nothing but the best. But not me. Nothing will ever tell me if I’m actually in denial, or I’m actually going to act out. I realise these are common fears but I’m so terrified, I don’t know who I am anymore and the thought of a life full of doubt is just so hard. I’m so sorry for the depressing post but I just feel like there’s not much hope for me.

I mean, you literally just have to decide "I'm not going to do a bad thing which I don't want to today". And then you just don't do it. Are you thinking that if you got rid of your inappropriately high anxieties around the topic, you would just suddenly do something you don't want to do? You really think that if you lost your ability to ever experience anxiety, you would just go around doing shitty things to other people? Anxiety isn't what decides what you decide to do, your values are. ERP can't change your moral compass yo it's not magic.

I think its because you get anxious or fear when you think about the thoughts and when your body show reaction you believe that you are really the thoughts ocd is feeded by anxiety and so if you do erp you show less reaction to thoughts because you have less fear.and less anxiety.. In my case erp works but its only through out the day.... Stay strong!!

@SilverArman But the OP seems to be implying that it's dangerous to do ERP. If right now she knows that whatever her neurosis is (harm OCD or pocd or something), is wrong, as in molesting a child or stabbing people with kitchen knives is wrong... Then the idea that doing a treatment which all it does is literally reduce anxiety, is going to make her do those things, is just plain illogical. Even if, say, someone who was a pedophile also had OCD symptoms and they treated those OCD symptoms, they wouldn't get to the ERP and decide that now it's ok to molest children. They'd have the same opinion they had about it before the ERP. People aren't naturally bad and do bad things all the time unless anxiety prevents them, it's not anxiety which prevents people from doing bad things, it's their personal and social values. That's why you get thousands of pedophiles who don't act on their fantasies (such as the virped community). Even if it turned out that somebody with harm OCD really did underneath it all have some kind of never-before-seen natural inclination towards wanting to get stabby, something inherent about them and unchangeable like sexual preference is, then that fact alone plus not having anxiety wouldn't make them "act out". It's one of the strangest ideas I've ever heard to think that anxiety is all that stands in the way of anyone doing something bad, because that would completely ignore whatever their values are. You get pedophiles who are selfish and either don't see anything wrong with molesting children or don't care enough about the harm that they could do, and it's those ones that act on it. Yet there are plenty who don't, not because they have a shield of anxiety preventing them, but because they don't think it's right and they would prefer to not do that harm and to be able to live with themselves. If the OP thinks something is wrong and wouldn't want to do it because of the harm it would cause, then removing her anxiety around it isn't going to change that, that's an absurd idea. No nothing can tell her whether she is "in denial" or whether she will act on intrusive thoughts because nobody can read her mind or predict the future. I might punch my sister in the face on Wednesday, you know? Life do be like that. Considering that I don't think that would be a moral thing to do, my expectation is that it would take serious extenuating circumstances for me to punch my sister in the face on Wednesday. If she thinks it would be morally wrong, cause problems etc to do whatever things she's so scared of doing, then the same thing applies to her. Logical thought isn't going to fly out the window just because your OCD is gone, nor are your basic values and moral opinions. I can tell you that OCD has caused me to make far more mistakes than just being me has. I've heard of people looking up child porn to check they're not into it because of POCD. It seems more risky to continue to live with the obsession frankly. It keeps it on your mind and, again, some people end up acting out the fears out of sheer desperation, like sleeping with someone the same sex to check whether you like it. Anyone with an OCD which involves fear of some kind of harm coming to others are much better off treating it and then simply living by their values. If it turned out she "is" whatever she fears being, she would still have her moral compass and her self control. This thing of "nothing can tell me if I'm actually going to act out" is kind of mind-boggling. Thankfully it's easier to see that after treatment. Literally even if that insane logic made any sense whatsoever, I don't see any reason why continuing to do her pure O obsessing like she wants to would somehow be preventing her from acting out unless she's also literally locking herself in a cupboard with no internet all day every day.

Hey, thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the effort you put into your comments, and I read all of them. I don’t have much of an explanation for the illogical thoughts I have about this. The best way to describe it is that I feel doubt about even basic things I never had to think about before, like causing harm or being attracted to someone I shouldn’t be. That doubt spiralled into a feeling of “that must mean I’m going to do it”. So I hope that explains where I’m coming from. You’re completely right though I’m pointing out how completely nonsensical it is - and I haven’t thought about it like that before. My anxiety isn’t what’s holding me back from commiting horrible crimes, it’s my morals. Even when I feel doubt about those, I just have an innate sense of “that doesn’t seem like something I should do”. What you mentioned in your second comment sums up a lot of my fear. Sure there are heartless pedophiles who act out without remorse, but as you said I’m sure there are also pedophiles who know they have inappropriate attractions and decide morally it’s not right to act on them. I’m afraid of falling in that second category - what if these thoughts mean I AM a pedophile, but I’m just choosing not to act on it? That to me is what denial feels like. Along with that, it would be the ultimate loss of identity, so opposite to how I’ve always seen myself. I think a lot of OCD, especially Pure O type thoughts, come down to fear of losing who you are. Once again, I appreciate your honesty on this topic and pointing out how illogical my compulsions are and how off my reasoning is. I’m happy to speak more about this if you like, your opinion is so valued ? Thank you!

@Scoggy I agree.. people social value stop them from doing bad things... At first i was asking the same question, what if im a pedophile but i just dont want to act on them... in some ocd cases we are just scared of becoming it when we dont have anxietys...you are right! Its illogical because anxiety is not the thing stopping us, its ourselves and social values but ocd dont care about logic... I respect todd nickerson... I was scared about what if im actually a virtuous pedophile... (Ofc its not wrong to be one im just saying the fact that i can be one was scary because of ocd) then i faced it... I told my self i can be a pedophile. I can be a monster and all of a sudden the fear was gone.. i didnt become a pedophile.. but i was feeling better... About nothing can tell her if she is in denial or its intrusive thoughts... my opinion is nothing can convince her that she is in denial or intrusive thoughts.. I think there is a big difference between ocd thoughts and reallity.. u just cant see it when you are dealing with ocd.. My OCD caused me alot of mistakes too.. Thanks for writing and your time on reply!! And sorr

@SilverArman Yikes, that was pretty triggering to read. I hadn’t heard about that guy or community but I just saw an article on it and now I’m pretty shaken. I really don’t want to be attracted to minors, I really really really don’t want that, I’m scared that just puts me in the same category as those people

@199903 Im really sry for the trigger... I really just wanted to share my journey with pocd... I wasnt thinking about triggers and hurtful... And no.. it doesnt put you in the same category.. its just ocd trying... Im really sry if it was hurtful..

@199903 If you can decide that even if you were in that category of people you wouldn't act on it, that can help your OCD a lot and make you find it easier to face doing ERP. There's no such thing as immoral people or immoral thoughts, only immoral actions and as far as I'm concerned (or tbh anybody with two braincells to rub together) there would be nothing wrong with being in the same category as those people. They have a difficult, miserable and thankless task, they do it without much complaint while the world hurls rocks at them, all for the way they were born. That's what I'd dislike about being in that category. There would be no need to internalise the same nonsensical views as lie behind hating someone for their race or gender, there is no moral issue there. It really is best to do what you can to reduce the apparent threat of that outcome for you, so that you don't need to constantly attend to the question. Reality is that sexuality is a pretty small part of anyone's life and at the moment you're sacrificing a lot of other parts of your life for the sake of stressing over what, in the worst case scenario, could come down to "well, I'm just never going to molest a child or download illegal stuff, so I guess that's that... I think I'll watch some TV and do my nails". I get that the OCD is creating fears of losing or being wrong about who you thought you were, but even putting aside the POCD, that's life, that's change, you don't know everything about yourself, you're probably never going to and it's only going to cause suffering to try to cling to stuff you have identified with in the past. It's your clinging which has caused this obsession and compulsion cycle in the first place. It's reflected in all the people on here who have full blown meltdowns because they didn't like their favourite song one day and they're devastated from that alone that it could mean their tastes are changing, they're not who they thought they were, etc. If you can't push yourself to become flexible about identity, and to not generalise any one thing you don't like about yourself into "I'M AN AWFUL PERSON", you're gonna have a bad time.