Ocd Recovery a guy I follow on Instagram talked about science and what happens after death. I believe in God and pray and stuff like that but there is always that doubt that persists in my mind. Like for example, when I die where will I go? Well his post talked about eternal blackness. Basically when you die there is nothing but blackness forever. Which I guess doesn't really matter seeing as your dead. But it still bugs me a lot. I'm afraid if I dont believe in God I'll go to hell so I know I do believe in him but the act of even questioning him feels like a sin. Sorry for the rambling this post is kind of all over the place just venting my frustrations.

Idk, I prefer to seeing it as the fact that being dead is exactly the same as before you were born. Before you were born, not being alive didn't hurt or do you any harm or eliminate any potential for a life and consciousness to emerge. So there's no reason to think it's going to do those things afterwards. That aside, I agree with Billy. Nobody has certainty, nobody fully knows, everybody is in the same boat. I don't think it's sensible for anybody to try to convince yourself that you believe or force yourself to. But I do approve of going forwards without answers and being open to experiencing the transcendent in your life. That doesn't mean expecting to have hallucinations of angels or literally hear the voice of God etc. It's good to think about how you want to define and recognise God in the world, in humility and courage and transformation and compassion and overcoming. I don't believe in God, I'm agnostic (leaning towards simulation theory) and that's how I recognise the transcendent. It's definitely there, it has a particular quality, it makes life worth living and I've had experiences of it which would make most people convert to a religion and be certain, but I still am not convinced it's some particular religion's God, especially given all the evidence that religion's are social phenomena. It's just that it's also clear that religions are based on that thing I described. On love, essentially. Some people call it God, personally I'm not sure what to make of it. I live with trust that that goodness is real and important and available to me to give and receive. The one thing I do have confidence in is that there is no hell. It would be totally in opposition to religious values of compassion and forgiveness, and in opposition to the transcendental that I've experienced. If I would be penalised for not believing in some particular god out of the thousands of them, then that would not be a loving god and would definitely not be responsible for that loving and connected quality to reality. It would be absolutely ridiculous.

Lina I am a Christian and have similar struggles with doubt. Your not alone.

I’m sure every religious person questions their faith. I feel like questioning is what makes your faith stronger because it’s like saying “hmm I don’t have all the answers but I’m still gonna trust God” that’s faith. But yeah you’re definitely not alone.

Hey Lina Don't feel bad, I would say it is an intrusive thought for you 'maybe I'm bad for questioning God' that causes you distress. https://youtu.be/AnITdNFqhVM ? God loves you Lina. You are most cherished by Him.