Does your harm ocd thoughts ever tell you you want to do the things your worried about? I always worry I’m gonna become a serial killer or just go crazy and kill people. Everytime I worry about this I go no no I don’t want to do that I’d never do that but my thoughts tell me “I do wanna do that I’m an evil person” and “I wanna kill people” these leads me to even more anxiety and I literally burst into tears everytime it’s horrible

Yes! All the time! I thought I was the only one. For example I get intrusive thoughts about harming people and myself, and whenever I get them my ocd twists it and makes me sad “I want to kill my dad” or “I want to die” and it’s so scary. I get what you’re dealing with. It’s really hard to deal with but the best thing I’ve done is to distract myself. Let the thoughts be there, don’t push them away. accept them and try and focus on things that make you happy

I have hocd as well. I know these are scary thoughts. My therapist recommended for me to make statement that doesn't give OCD the guarantee that it wants.

Our OCD tells us that we must perform a compulsion so nothing bad will happen. With hocd our compulsion is telling ourselves that nothing bad will happen. Work on accepting that we can't guarantee that nothing bad will happen and let your thoughts come and go. Amagine your thoughts are like a butterfly flying into your room when the window is open. We can try to get the buttery to fly back out by waving, fanning, etc., Or we can just let the butterfly fly around and eventually out. People with harm OCD do not want to hurt anyone, this is why the thoughts are so distressing. No one, however, can ever guarantee anyone that they will not do something to hurt someone else.

I would recommend that you discuss this with a therapist.

I’m so sorry you are experiencing this as I do too. It’s so hard. I remember thinking oh okay what if I take ideas from movies and become dexter or something or if I would enjoy doing that stuff. It’s really tough, especially when it comes to the ones you love and even when it’s random.