I’m having a really bad day with OCD so I just need to get all this out. I wonder if there’s some deep underlying cause that triggered my ROCD. I had these thoughts about other boyfriends too, not just the one I currently am with. So, here’s some of what I experienced as a young child/teen. My parents never hugged or kissed and I never really saw them interact in fact. My dad would work all the time and he’d fall asleep on the couch when he got home. One time on Christmas when I was like 7 years old, I asked my mom “why don’t you and daddy ever kiss?” I would see them fight a lot and I’d see one of my brothers also fight with my dad a lot. It always made me very anxious. My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. They kinda just acted like college roomates who never got to know eachother instead of a married couple. (I just wanna say everyone in my family are AMAZING people that I admire, but they do make mistakes just like everyone else) When I was 10/11, my mom got remarried to my step dad. They love eachother very much and got along real well and we had fun. But a few years later, we learned he’s an alcoholic and I’ve heard and seen things that were heartbreaking from him. The things he’s said to my mom just are absolutely awful when he’s drinking. He’s a great guy when he doesn’t, but I don’t think our daughter-step father relationship will ever be the same. I guess all of the toxic things I’ve seen my mom go through with my dad and step dad affected me more than I ever thought. I vowed to myself I’d never get a divorce or get in an abusive relationship and I think my mind took that inter overdrive and that’s where my ROCD was born. (Ps, I did end up getting into a really mentally/emotionally abusive relationship which probably also influences the ROCD thoughts about my current boyfriend) So, I guess if anyone has any advice or kind things I’d really appreciate them. I hope you guys are all doing well ??