Just got finished with my erp for Hocd and because I decided to look at the most gayest pics because I want this shit to be done with I almost gave up doing this smh. But now when I see the pics I start to think hmm I’m a try that on a chick haha and then I smile and I’m like yeah buddy! So I’m getting better but it’s kind of weird too because I’m getting aroused as I’m switching my thinking to trying that with a chick which is good but then I have to keep looking at the gay pics while I was just getting aroused thinking that and it sucks because then it makes want to look up naked pics of chicks so I can jack off to them smh haha but I still have to look at the Gay ass pics smh.

Okay so a few things BUT WELL DONE ON ERP: 1) don’t do it in a rush. ERP isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. If you do it quickly, it will fail 2) the ‘I’ll try that on a chick’ is a compulsion. Don’t compare. Just stare and let thoughts come in. 3) Arousal happens to any sexual stimulus gay or straight and has NO bearing on one’s sexual orientation.

Nicky310- thanks for the help but now I’m curious. Does that mean I have to refrain from jacking off because all my life I jacked off to women or porn that’s just how I get off but since I have HOCD that’s a compulsion now right? Because I’ve already stopped looking at porn because it’s a compulsion but I guess I should’ve asked my psychologist if I should stop jacking off thinking about sex with women even though that’s what I’ve always done in my life but it’s seems you know a lot about this stuff too so I just thought I ask you thanks.

I have a feeling that your thought of trying on a woman, is a form of distraction. It may not have been intentional but distraction can become avoidance.

I know but I’ll try that on a chick was a thought that popped in seeing that it’s not like I was trying to think that but when I see that stuff I just start visualizing me with a chick not because I’m trying to suppress my thoughts but it just comes out of no where to where I start visualizing a chick like I can’t help it that’s just what’s started to happen though as I’m on day 4 of looking at pictures for erp and my psychologist said at first to just look at pictures of men but I told her that I was looking at naked dudes for my erp and she told me than to keep doing that until we meet again. My psychologist wants me to get my anxiety up again since I kind of messed myself up doing the self help on my own without any help so that’s where I’m at.

Of course no problems ! You’re doing sooo well! Yeah I think refraining from it is best because it can be a reassurance, but check with your therapist!