- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Okay so a few things BUT WELL DONE ON ERP: 1) don’t do it in a rush. ERP isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. If you do it quickly, it will fail 2) the ‘I’ll try that on a chick’ is a compulsion. Don’t compare. Just stare and let thoughts come in. 3) Arousal happens to any sexual stimulus gay or straight and has NO bearing on one’s sexual orientation.
- Date posted
- 6y
Nicky310- thanks for the help but now I’m curious. Does that mean I have to refrain from jacking off because all my life I jacked off to women or porn that’s just how I get off but since I have HOCD that’s a compulsion now right? Because I’ve already stopped looking at porn because it’s a compulsion but I guess I should’ve asked my psychologist if I should stop jacking off thinking about sex with women even though that’s what I’ve always done in my life but it’s seems you know a lot about this stuff too so I just thought I ask you thanks.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have a feeling that your thought of trying on a woman, is a form of distraction. It may not have been intentional but distraction can become avoidance.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know but I’ll try that on a chick was a thought that popped in seeing that it’s not like I was trying to think that but when I see that stuff I just start visualizing me with a chick not because I’m trying to suppress my thoughts but it just comes out of no where to where I start visualizing a chick like I can’t help it that’s just what’s started to happen though as I’m on day 4 of looking at pictures for erp and my psychologist said at first to just look at pictures of men but I told her that I was looking at naked dudes for my erp and she told me than to keep doing that until we meet again. My psychologist wants me to get my anxiety up again since I kind of messed myself up doing the self help on my own without any help so that’s where I’m at.
- Date posted
- 6y
Of course no problems ! You’re doing sooo well! Yeah I think refraining from it is best because it can be a reassurance, but check with your therapist!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 22w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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