huge ocd spike during a make out. The thought I had while I was turned on felt gay and now I’m crying again. When does this end

I don’t know. The fact that the thought came about naturally and is like stuff I think about a lot is really upsetting me. Thank you so much for the kind words

@Yikes1000X I think your hocd really targets you when you are doing stuff with the opposite sex. It wants to you feel uncomfortable. Don’t let it win!!

@tolandkm I’m trying not to. Thank you

@Yikes1000X You’ve got this!! Just take a couple deep breaths and just let your thoughts be thoughts!

@tolandkm I just can’t tell anymore what’s an okay sexual thought to have and what thoughts mean I’m gay. So like I just ugh

@Yikes1000X I totally get it. My thoughts were so bad that I had an anxiety attack. But you just have to let them be thoughts!! It will be okay!!

@tolandkm .Thank you ❤️❤️

It’s so dumb. I was thinking about me and him making out in a hot tub and pictured me naked in the tub with him and got turned on and my brain went crazy like you’re gay!! You only thought of you as an excuse to think of a woman. My poor boyfriend. I hate this all

@Yikes1000X Fr ive been dealing with this for forever now. I feel you. Im so scared. But we need to accept the uncertainty. Now im freaking out about the wedding idk what to do.

@confused writer I know. It just sucks bc now I’m confused of thinking of myself naked with him is gay. My mind sure thinks it is

@confused writer And I want a wedding and good sex but it’s so shitty and feels so bleak

@Yikes1000X I know its so hard. For me everytime i have sex those thoughts pop into my head. And now everything makes me so crazy.

@confused writer I know. I hate this all. Any natural feelings are tainted by my ocd. I hate it. And the worst is I’ve had HOCD since I’ve been sexually active with my bf. So I’ve never gotten totally anxiety free sex. And I HATE it

@Yikes1000X Me too! Did u have thoughts before?

@confused writer Like other OCD thoughts? And I had brief HOCD obsessions but they kind of popped in and out instead of staying forever like they do know

@Yikes1000X I mean - i had thoughts from earlier in life, but it came and go. For u too? My hocd hangs on them like hell

@confused writer Like thoughts about the same sex?

@Yikes1000X Yeah, i used to look up naked women as a little kid and get turned on. Now it seems so so obvious that I must be gay. It’s disturbing to say the least and a huge blockage for me

@Yikes1000X Listen ive been through THE SAME. FR. Makes me feel better to think it happend to another person, but sad for you. We will be ok!!!! Does ur bf know ? And I didnt have anxiety-less sex. Ever.

@confused writer Did it at least feel good/you wanted it to feel good? That’s where I’m at. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes I’m afraid if I try to make it better it won’t work and that’ll prove I’m gay. And he knows everything. He’s my rock

@Yikes1000X But it’s never amazing. Which ocd loves and I hatw

@Yikes1000X YES GIRL!!!! because u r never fully in it. I really remember several times it was amazing. And even then - thoughts. And my bf is that for me too.

@confused writer Even if it’s good, my memory makes it seems awful. All I remember is the anxiety. Hate it. So. Much. Thank you, this makes me feel so much better

@Yikes1000X Same here. Tell me if u wanna talk. Id love that.

@confused writer ❤️❤️