- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Also another thing that helped me was that my therapist said that she hears crazy things all the time and it’s her job to be able to handle it and help me.
- Date posted
- 5y
You just answered my second question above. ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Fear Strikes Out Lmao yeah lol
- Date posted
- 5y
I am just straight up I am like “hey I know this sounds insane and you’ve heard it before” but also I think that people have these thoughts all the time. Someone who is crazy won’t admit or be scared of having them!!
- Date posted
- 5y
I knew sharing was the only way to start recovery. No matter bad my thoughts were (and they were horrible), I knew staying silent was not gonna help me. I started with my parents the day my onset started actually. It terrified me so bad that was the first thing I did. I didn’t end up starting therapy until a few months later because i thought I was dealing with a spiritual attack and not a mental health issue. At some point I was like okay, the problem is still here and I need professional help. I was very honest right away with the problem, because I knew hiding things wasn’t going to benefit me at all. I knew saying everything would help my therapist to understand what was going on and give me the right tools from the get-go to heal from these issues
- Date posted
- 5y
I was very nervous to tell my therapist about my most distressing intrusive thoughts/theme, and I didn't talk about it until the 2nd or 3rd session. After going back and forth about the pros and cons, I decided that I needed to fully commit to the treatment plan to actually see results, and I wouldn't be doing so if I kept my greatest fears to myself. The OCD would still have its grip on me, and I would be worrying about not being honest with my therapist during sessions addressing less distressing obsessions.
- Date posted
- 5y
I started with baby steps, first telling my best friend, then my therapist, then my counselor.
- Date posted
- 5y
So, as you became more comfortable with your therapist, you felt more at ease to share? Did the therapist ever say anything like "There is probably nothing you could disclose about your intrusive thoughts that will likely shock me because I have heard just about every kind of intrusive thought."
- Date posted
- 5y
@Fear Strikes Out She didn’t say anything about the intrusive thoughts because she is no a therapist for ocd which sucks but she told me that she’s heard all types of things and what I said doesn’t shock her and concern her because she’s heard a lot.
- Date posted
- 5y
I think I told myself that if someone told about my troubles no matter how many times my ocd plays with me, at least in the bottom of my heart I know the truth about myself and that what other people think doesn’t matter because is know me and I know what I go through everyday. And it’s also confidential so therapists aren’t supposed to share anything unless they believe it’s a threat.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
So I know I've talked about my fear of being hacked/watched without my knowledge and at the same time that same fear has also made me scared that i've said incriminating things or confessed to a crime I didn't commit out loud without realizing and that this person (who probably doesn't even exist) is going to use it against me in the future and ruin my life. To the point where I've covered all my device cameras. Yeah, I know. Incredibly outlandish. Anyways. The past few months it's just been my brain convincing me that my life is over or that it's going to end and not just end, but like I'm going to lose everyone that I love because of said "incriminating things" though I know I haven't done anything wrong. Of course, there's a part of me that realises that this is really unlikely because I'm not that important of a person for someone to lie in wait for decades and decide to ruin my life just because though I don't doubt that there are people like that out there (i really hope they're few and far between). However, there's another part of me that also really believes that this is all true. And sometimes I wonder if I'm going insane. Coupled with what I believe are false memories, the anxiety has been taxing every day. And I find it hard to sit with uncertainty because this worst case scenario terrifies me. I'm scared of being unloved and abandoned and also deathly afraid of being perceived as a bad person. And of course, also scared of being a bad person and my brain is convinced that I must be. Anyways. Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I wanted to share because I know that OCD or I guess any kind of mental illness (whatever it is I'm suffering from if it isn't OCD) likes to convince us that our fears are too niche and that this worry wouldn't be present if it wasn't real. OCD likes to use that as proof. I've learnt though that there are many people like me on this app, and even though it's still scary, it makes me feel less alone. It can be very tiring and honestly sometimes I ask myself how I'm still here even though it's been a few months and some people on here have experienced episodes like this for years or even decades. I keep hoping I'll wake up one day and it will be like this never happened. If you've taken the time to read this incredibly long waffle session of mine that's more like a drawn-pit diary entry, thank you. And if you feel comfortable with sharing, please do :)
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- POCD
- Real Events OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 18w
I have struggled with the darkest thoughts for a long time that rip me apart and have shattered my identity or attempts to create an identity. The worst part is they latch on to what feels most important to me at a point in time, or very important parts of who I am/my family is. Now that I write it out it helps put it in a bit of a perspective, of just how far my ridiculous ruinations have gone. Essentially the obsessive thoughts center on the fear of being a murderer, and have ruined my life for 15 years. This is totally ridiculous, but it developed so bad I was analyzing every good or bad instinct or personality trait of myself and even my family. This makes me cry but it has changed how I even view my whole family. The instinct to even just say Hi to someone, turned into 'you're not actually friendly, you're a murderer.' The worst part is it latches on to the positive aspects of ourselves: For instance, the ongoing deep desire I get to invent/create something outside of my work life and start a creative project, (this is a lifelong passion of one of my parents), Is disrupted by thoughts that somehow this passion is driven by a darker thing such as being a murderer. It's so horrible because it clouds my view of my own parent who I know I deeply love, and view of people in general. This leaves me broken inside and it is hard to get through every day, especially when the thought process starts positive (I want to start a creative project) then quickly devolves into extremely disturbing thoughts about oneself and even my family. Writing this out has helped I will say because it helps me see the thoughts for how ridiculous they are, and see how OCD really works by latching on to what you value/care about most. Essentially its like the most ultimate fear of fearing yourself, which makes it so hard to develop a sense of identity, do the things you actually would enjoy, enjoy relationships, and in general live your best life.
- Date posted
- 16w
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I have therapy today and I’m nervous. I just started going to therapy and I really like my therapist. She talked to me about doing ERP and I’m really nervous about it. I’m scared to tell her the extent of my OCD, and my themes. I’m scared to tell her about my false memory OCD, because I’m scared that what I did was real and I’m just excusing it as false memory, although I have no memory of it. I’m scared that I am truly a monster and I’m using OCD as an excuse—and that she’ll find out and distance herself. I’m just scared that my whole world is gonna fall apart, all around me.
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