worryqueen
- Date posted
- 5y
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
Wow, that's messed up!!!! V V V V V V V V V If my AGREEING with you made you more mad/sad/scared, and you're like "what the heck Katie? You're supposed to tell me it's no big deal!", then it's safe to assume the purpose of this post was to get reassurance
garden garden
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve actually realised quite a few people have done this as a kid and then their OCD has later latched onto it. All I can say is you were a kid. Kids do shit! And you can spend all your time looking back at it and wishing to change it, or you can move forward with this new understanding and live life with your current values?
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
I done this as an adult and it's what caused my real ocd event. It's something I find very difficult to deal with. It's only just started to bother me the past 2 month and I think why didnt this bother me when I was doing it like how did I think it was so normal
worryqueenworryqueen
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel the same way... I keep wondering what was so wrong with me at that time to want to do something like that.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too x Seriously though you were a child I still believe I was abused by a neighbour when I was younger which affected me somehow I think we just deal with things in our own weird way It just takes us a while to realise there not what firs with our morals today x
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I always think because I'm an adult it makes me worse We both know we aren't bad people like I know completely what your going through What we did was pretty gross and most people probably wouldnt get it but that's why I think we just have to accept that we did something without really thinking But now we have learnt from it x
worryqueenworryqueen
- Date posted
- 5y
Idk if I can, but I'll try. Thank you for your words of comfort :) I hope we can both find peace
OCDottieOCDottie
- Date posted
- 14h
Idk if you’re still active but I wanted for you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve basically did the same thing around that age. I’m still pretty haunted by that but only recently learned that what I was experiencing was real event OCD. It took awhile to see that child’s play and exploration is not as uncommon as we think. Sure, maybe we should have known better at the time but as children we just didn’t. Maybe it wouldve been different if we were taught or educated better but then again maybe not. What’s important is that we both understand now in the present that it was wrong. It’s tricky too, the uncertainty of it all. But I think it’s important to factor in that we were literally children. If I heard of someone doing something similar, I wouldn’t act disgusted. I’d be grateful that you realized it was wrong and stopped. Regardless, it’s important to remember to be kind to yourself. And self-compassion is something I’m still learning. Still compulsive that I searched similar situations on this app, but I’m still learning ya know. Hope youre doing well out there!
Related posts
emma345
- Date posted
- 22w
Anyone else with actually bad events?
tw: slightly nsfw I don't mean something like "I made a sexual joke and a child was nearby " or "I was 19 and thought a 17 y.o. was attractive" Like something actually bad not the "I'm freaking over this because I have OCD" type of situation, but more like "I did something horrible and I happen to have OCD which makes it even worse" type of situation I did some really fucked up sexual stuff at 14-16 and they haunt me.
Anonimus ME 🦋
- Date posted
- 19w
I feel like I'm going to explode...
I saw a video of an animal that someone was cleaning or doing something to the intimate region, and I automatically sexualized it and got some strange feeling, something like groin, even the animal looked like it was enjoying itself and I just feel different and disgusting because I know it's not normal, I didn't have zoocd and it's not clear to me how that feeling precedes my thoughts...
Givenup
- Date posted
- 5w
Pocd and real disgusting horrible events (13-14)
What if you did something so extremely awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and v0mit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (happened 3 times) from when I was 13 or 14... I cant remember... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rpist at all… I was either 13 or 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 24... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was either 13 or 14 at the time… now I’m 24… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they mlested and that they needed to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was either 13 or 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was either 13 or 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I cant remember if i was 13 or 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13-14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14 because someone told me what these real events were before on the same day it happened for the 1st time... (it happened 3 times) but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... These real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and vOmit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was also extremely horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... ive lived in guilt for so long... i dont love myself... and I genuinely cant stomach the idea that im still here... I feel so guilty and horrible...
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