- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I totally get this. I really struggle feeling loving feelings towards my long term boyfriend. I find that remembering that I WANT to love him, is loving him. Love is a choice not a feeling, the butterfly feeling goes away and we start to get annoyed with people. But love is an action and I choice, you choose to love him. Don’t worry girl, you’ll get through this the thoughts will go away if you let them. Praying for you!!☀️
- Date posted
- 5y
This is so meaningful. Thank you so so much! And I appreciate the prayer, too! Wanting to love him is loving him...I’m going to remember that! ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I am just beginning therapy for this. I have wondered the same thing. This has been a pattern for me in relationships where I have seen ROCD come and go in the same relationship and basically every relationship I’ve ever had. I am wondering if you have seen this same pattern in other relationships that you have had and can remember how “normal” it felt when the ROCD backed down a bit. I’m still learning too. How do you treat ROCD if you aren’t in a relationship? I am sure there is a way but really don’t know.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for your input! That does really help because, thinking about it, I can see that I did have it in my other relationships and was able to really clearly know when it was time to leave. I am starting treatment soon, and am excited for you! Since fear is always the basis of ocd, I’m sure your specialist and you will find a way to work on the relationship theme even if you’re single, so that you have skills in place for your next relationship! Wishing you the best!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Really struggling today so far. I have partner-focused ROCD so I’m constantly picking apart my partner and looking for warning signs that he doesn’t love me enough and doesn’t want to be with me or care for me. Valentine’s Day is really hard for me because it’s not a huge holiday for the two of us but of course my ROCD takes it and runs with it. It tells me that he doesn’t love me, things won’t get better, he doesn’t care, he’s lazy, he’s the worst boyfriend, etc. This sucks so much because I just want to accept the fact that my brain wants to tell me these things…it is just so hard!!! :(
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!
- Date posted
- 7w
My ROCD is at an all time high right now. I have an appointment set up, but the wait is awful. My husband found one of my erp exercises where I write a sentence about him maybe not being the right partner. I had forgotten to throw it away. Of course it made him sad. I feel so ashamed and like I've damaged our relationship beyond repair. The sad part is, the thought comes,"if he ends it, at least I might get some relief". I feel like the worst wife.
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