kitten21
- Date posted
- 6y
kitten21kitten21
- Date posted
- 6y
It feels good knowing i’m not alone. Ive done the same! I get this lump in my throat and feel guilty when i start having these thoughts and it will last for days. I get so upset with myself. How do you cope with it?
ArukawiArukawi
- Date posted
- 6y
I experience this theme! For me it's the little voice in my head going "you don't really love your boyfriend.... He loves you more than you could ever love him back. He's not perfect and you should break up with him because you're just leading him on" There was a time where I would constantly be looking at online quizzes to test myself to see if I actually loved my boyfriend, or I would lurk forums and see what people "in love" felt like and become distraught when I didn't feel exactly like some stranger on the internet did. It's hard, especially when I also deal with obsessions about my orientation that make me question my relationship even more!
ArukawiArukawi
- Date posted
- 6y
That's a tough one! I try to take my mind off of anything that will make me want to do a compulsion or check how I'm feeling, so sometimes I'll watch TV or play video games or read. Definitely easier for me to say than do sometimes. A lot of people mention meditation helping them!
AKezAKez
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly how this feels, I get the sense that I am not living the perfect scenario and that love is something that is not in my current relationship and that is something I am yet to experience with someone out of my grasp. It is because of the obsession that something is always better or the fear of actually having something out of the ordinary in my normal routines. This combined with other intrusive thoughts can be difficult as you feel incapable of loving someone else or accepting them or the relationship. I am lucky as I am able to talk to my partner about this but it is struggle for certain and it comes and goes with feelings in contrast one minute and different the next
kitten21kitten21
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys! I’m trying to get myself to realize i am not alone and these irrational thoughts about my relationship that come out of no where then go away is my OCD and not how I actually feel but sometimes i can’t tell what i’m thinking is real or not. I just got married like a month ago so I’ve been freaking out inside..
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- Date posted
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- Date posted
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Mariabae
- Date posted
- 20w
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I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
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