- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
It feels good knowing i’m not alone. Ive done the same! I get this lump in my throat and feel guilty when i start having these thoughts and it will last for days. I get so upset with myself. How do you cope with it?
- Date posted
- 6y
I experience this theme! For me it's the little voice in my head going "you don't really love your boyfriend.... He loves you more than you could ever love him back. He's not perfect and you should break up with him because you're just leading him on" There was a time where I would constantly be looking at online quizzes to test myself to see if I actually loved my boyfriend, or I would lurk forums and see what people "in love" felt like and become distraught when I didn't feel exactly like some stranger on the internet did. It's hard, especially when I also deal with obsessions about my orientation that make me question my relationship even more!
- Date posted
- 6y
That's a tough one! I try to take my mind off of anything that will make me want to do a compulsion or check how I'm feeling, so sometimes I'll watch TV or play video games or read. Definitely easier for me to say than do sometimes. A lot of people mention meditation helping them!
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly how this feels, I get the sense that I am not living the perfect scenario and that love is something that is not in my current relationship and that is something I am yet to experience with someone out of my grasp. It is because of the obsession that something is always better or the fear of actually having something out of the ordinary in my normal routines. This combined with other intrusive thoughts can be difficult as you feel incapable of loving someone else or accepting them or the relationship. I am lucky as I am able to talk to my partner about this but it is struggle for certain and it comes and goes with feelings in contrast one minute and different the next
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys! I’m trying to get myself to realize i am not alone and these irrational thoughts about my relationship that come out of no where then go away is my OCD and not how I actually feel but sometimes i can’t tell what i’m thinking is real or not. I just got married like a month ago so I’ve been freaking out inside..
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.
- Perfectionism OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Relationship OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi all, I’m quite new to the whole ROCD thing as I was just diagnosed after years of thinking I just “wasn’t meant for love/dating” because of how horribly I would spiral into a depressive, extremely dread-filled and horrifically anxious state of mind and immediately cut it off during the talking stage with guys. After breaking up with a guy who I truly liked and cared for TWICE, I was finally diagnosed with OCD and it all really makes sense now. It feels weird trying to explain it to others though… I don’t know if I’m alone in these feelings, but it feels like every time I start talking to a guy—usually after the first date but the worries are extreme even in the beginning when I perceive that they are starting to like me—I end up in this major depressive episode where I don’t feel real or like myself, I can’t take care of myself, I’m either hysterically crying or I feel numb, I feel completely trapped (even if we’re not officially dating yet), I question everything in case I’m missing a red flag of some kind or some hint that this person isn’t right for me (even with simple things like a guy giving me flowers, I end up thinking “is this moving too fast? Is he being weird? Is this love bombing? What if he has an ulterior motive? Why did he really give me these?” when logically I know it’s probably nothing) I feel like I’m always looking for evidence to see if they are secretly weird, if we aren’t compatible (always “casually” ask them to take the Myers-Briggs Personality Test to try to find out as much information as humanly possible right off the bat due to fear of being stuck with them only after realizing their real personality) It then typically escalates to a point where I never want to check my phone in fear that they texted me, I feel smothered from any communication, I wish for them to break up/break it off with me, the thought of them just icks me out and almost disgusts me, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t stomach going out with friends or family of theirs, and I usually need to introduce 24/7 drugs of some kind (weed and nicotine) to my daily routine to cope with the feelings/use it to eat something because I can’t eat when I’m with them/due to the anxiety around dating them. With the man I just broke up with FOR THE SECOND TIME AFTER A WEEK OF DATING, it had gotten to a point—as it always does—where the pain of trying to be with them is greater than my appreciation for them. I might smile at my phone when they text me and be full of joy around them, but the portion of time when I’m NOT around them and left to just think about the relationship or observing how they are behaving rather than being in the moment is just too much. Once I break it off though, it feels like a bag has been lifted over my head and I’m finally back to my normal self. I usually need a couple days to emotionally recover, and then I’m up and cleaning my home, taking care of myself, and back to making plans with others. I feel lonely then and might miss them, but I know it’s just not fair to ANYONE right now to date someone like me. Is this relatable? Do I sound crazy? - Z
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