- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It feels good knowing i’m not alone. Ive done the same! I get this lump in my throat and feel guilty when i start having these thoughts and it will last for days. I get so upset with myself. How do you cope with it?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I experience this theme! For me it's the little voice in my head going "you don't really love your boyfriend.... He loves you more than you could ever love him back. He's not perfect and you should break up with him because you're just leading him on" There was a time where I would constantly be looking at online quizzes to test myself to see if I actually loved my boyfriend, or I would lurk forums and see what people "in love" felt like and become distraught when I didn't feel exactly like some stranger on the internet did. It's hard, especially when I also deal with obsessions about my orientation that make me question my relationship even more!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That's a tough one! I try to take my mind off of anything that will make me want to do a compulsion or check how I'm feeling, so sometimes I'll watch TV or play video games or read. Definitely easier for me to say than do sometimes. A lot of people mention meditation helping them!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I know exactly how this feels, I get the sense that I am not living the perfect scenario and that love is something that is not in my current relationship and that is something I am yet to experience with someone out of my grasp. It is because of the obsession that something is always better or the fear of actually having something out of the ordinary in my normal routines. This combined with other intrusive thoughts can be difficult as you feel incapable of loving someone else or accepting them or the relationship. I am lucky as I am able to talk to my partner about this but it is struggle for certain and it comes and goes with feelings in contrast one minute and different the next
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you guys! I’m trying to get myself to realize i am not alone and these irrational thoughts about my relationship that come out of no where then go away is my OCD and not how I actually feel but sometimes i can’t tell what i’m thinking is real or not. I just got married like a month ago so I’ve been freaking out inside..
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Currently I have several different OCD fears that pop up throughout the week depending on the situation. I've noticed a commonality between all of them are the fears relating to memory/false memory. Today is the ROCD struggle I've been dealing with. I know OCD has been trying this on me lately because of how much I love my spouse. They are my absolute best friend and she's my world. I value our marriage and friendship more than anything. OCD has latched onto one specific female coworker. And I don't even know why because even if I were single I wouldn't be into her. Even still, OCD makes me think I've cheated on my wife every time I'm alone with this coworker at work. Always starts as a what if, followed by imagery, followed by feelings that I must've actually done something and can't remember it. Usually fearing I've kissed her. It hurts because I know I'd never do that to my wife and I love her so much...the idea of losing her kills me, especially if it were the result of something I did. Just wanted to vent. Feel free to share your experiences or vents as well
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