Ugh so i truly feel like I’m in denial. My friend came over and we were talking about stuff and it sounded like she was about to say that she was gay, and it’s like my body got this urge for her to come out because if she did then I could as well. I dont know why, but it’s like my mind is telling me that if more of my friends came out then I should; and the thoughts feel so real that I don’t know anymore. But the thought of kissing my female friends makes me want to vomit (literally I was with my friend and imagined kissing her and I almost yakked). But it’s like being straight doesn’t feel right either. I think I’ll probably have this weird feeling forever and just have to deal with it.

Yeah I feel like that too. Maybe it’s also bc of all the thoughts in my head make me feel like it so idk. I hope that one day these thoughts one phase me like they used to

I guess I would stop worrying if I was gay or not. But idk anymore. I don’t like these intrusive thoughts.

@tolandkm It just doesn’t feel like me :/. I don’t like imagining myself doing sexual stuff with my female friends. But I just let my thoughts come by but I don’t want to actually start liking the thoughts, especially the ones I get about my best friend. It really disturbs me

@tolandkm Let's broaden the question: what does "a good life" mean to you? Try to answer without talking about the OCD or your sexuality

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Being happy. Not overthinking everything. Just enjoying my life with my friends and family. Eventually getting married to someone I love and having children

@tolandkm Zoom in on "enjoying life with your friends and family" and "getting married to someone I love and having kids". Those statements talk about actions, which means they can be achievable goals. What actions and activities do those goals involve?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Stopping overthinking every single thing (which I have a big problem with) when I’m hanging out with my friends and try to not let the intrusive thoughts bring me down. I guess finding someone that I love without overthinking and overall just being comfortable with someone.

@tolandkm Ok, so you need to engage in activities even when you're anxious instead of withdrawing from them to think?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I believe so. I’ve been hanging out with my female friends and although the thoughts are still there they don’t bother me as much because I’m with a friend to take my mind off. I panic at first when I get an intrusive thought but I feel better after because I’m with my friend and can talk about things to get my mind off of it.

@tolandkm For you, participating in a non-ocd related conversation is an effective strategy for blocking rumination. Are there any other actions you can think of that are incompatible with ruminating?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Just getting out of the house and talking with my mom. Going on walks helps a lot, which I’m going on one tomorrow.

@tolandkm I'm curious whether intentionally triggering the doubt before you engage in conversations or walks would help to deepen the learning that you can choose not to respond to a doubt and still be ok

@NOCD Advocate - Katie That might help. Thank you!!