I’m freaking out. I have relationship ocd and for the most part felt like I was doing better but yesterday was my 21st birthday party and I was already scared of drinking cause I felt like I was going to do or say something bad while being drunk. I went kind of hard on the drinking yesterday and ended up blacking out. When I woke up my boyfriend told me what happened and he told me that I called my best friends boyfriend, my boyfriend and that absolutely triggered me. I tried to go around it and he’s like “no you said he was your boyfriend” but he told me he didn’t take it too personal. But now I’m having a mental breakdown cause why the hell would I even say that. So many questions are going through my head and I just want to cry my eyes out.

First of all... take a deeeeeep breath. Happy birthday!!! things like that happen.. trust me I’ve blurted some things while drunk which is why I typically don’t like drinking anymore - also because I get horrible “hangxiety” (only three years older than you). Don’t keep apologizing if he didn’t take it personally - coming from personal experience with my own boyfriend. It’s hard because when you’re drunk you’re not aware of your behavior and can’t apply things you’ve learned in cognitive therapy etc. you’re human. take a nice shower, cup of tea, put on a funny comedy, and avoid looking for external validation (it’s not long lasting). Sleeping it off and drinking water is the best thing to do right now. Sending love cus I’ve been there but you will come through it and if he loves you he’ll understand too!

Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it! I will go do those things and just practice self compassion. It’s tough but I won’t let this get me down. I hope you have a great day :) and thank you as well for the birthday wishes!

Journaling also REALLY helps. I try to catch my thoughts. I would suggest looking up the DBT thought log on google (it explains how to use it). I don’t know how long you’ve been in a relationship before but mine was very triggering in the beginning - not because of him- but because of my relationship ocd. That with drinking could at times send me off the rail. Consider yourself lucky if that’s all you did on your 21st!!! Self compassion and forgiveness is huge and if your boyfriend is supportive lean into that and be vulnerable (brene brown is a must listen).

Sounds like it was pretty harmless, but I understand having anxiety about it. Drinking heavily usually doesn’t yield good results no matter single or in a relationship