Hello everyone, I'm absolutely freaking out about something. I'm 17 years old, and a couple of months ago, I stumbled on a website that had child pornography. I was absolutely disgusted, I closed everything immediately and even reported everything to Google. There are many websites like this one that havent shut down, so I was trying to make an effort to report them all to Google. However, as I was doing so, I started feeling extemely guilty for even opening those websites and looking at those images. I know that I was doing the right thing, but it still bothers me too much. I feel absolutely disgusting and destroyed for having seen those type of images, especially because MY OCD likes to make me imagine those things. I feel disgusted and repulsed by it, and I'm absolutely panicking right now. Please help me :(

You know that you did a good thing by reporting it. Maybe searching them out to report wasn't the smartest thing ever to do, my suspicion is that your moral OCD was in the driving seat, we have another member who compulsively reports any pornogrophy or erotica she gets a bad feeling about or which she doesn't feel is explicit enough about characters or actors being over 18. There's an overresponsibility here- whilst it's good to report a site you clicked on, it wasn't your job to browse to more of the same thing just to report them, you were trying to get rid of an uncomfortable feeling and worry that you're not a moral person by proving that voice wrong. So my recommendation is to do response prevention when you feel compelled to argue or prove to yourself that you're a moral person. As youve discovered, the end result of following our compulsions often leads to us just having even more fuel for our obsessive concerns. As for how you're feeling right now, panic comes as a result of not processing feelings and ruminating whatever triggered them instead. Nobody can give you certainties about your worry of not being an immoral person or a paedophile. Nor can we promise that for anyone else. But the possibility of it being true can seem less threatening and less relevant to your daily life via quitting compulsions. No more searching and reporting, and importantly, no more rumination and replaying your memories and trying to argue against the worry with that you're not a bad person, etc. When the idea of being an immoral, unacceptable person comes up, it comes with feelings which you can name and then feel. Fear, anxiety, shame, disgust, desperation etc. Separate out the feelings from the thoughts. Then let the feelings happen in your body without trying to argue away the thoughts. Suspend your attempts to know the answer or know what's going to happen. You can survive having those urges to analyse/ruminate and not do them. Just focus on the feelings in your body, be brave and lean into them. Eventually they'll be processed, they'll ebb away and leave you with a sense of peace. From that point, you'll be able to see the clear picture here more rationally. If more scary and uncomfortable emotion comes up, just rinse and repeat. Always feel your feelings before drawing conclusions or doing analysis. Stay out of your head and in your body. You'll feel better soon.

Hello! I am a POCD suffer as well. I am a police officer and I have to see images like that before and it is horrifying. I’m so sorry you were exposed to such a dark subject matter. Remember that just because you have seen it doesn’t me you like it. Same with your thoughts. You did the right thing by reporting the cite. Make it an effort however not to look for those sites to report them. The local law enforcer agencies where you live are working on it I’m sure.