Before HOCD, did anyone else have a problem with this? Basically, I was scared that boys that I don't like, like me. And that made me so uncomfy talking to them because if they asked me out, I'll say no. I never dated either so HOCD is so hard for me ugh. I've had feelings for people but I never shared it with anyone because I was still in that "scared" phase or "embarrassed". Plus, I wasn't ready to date due to insecurities and fear. I'm still scared that it's a sign or something ugh. And when I tell people I'm not ready to date or I haven't dated, people would assume my identity. I've always had feelings towards boys, but never for girls (I only admired them). But with OCD, I don't remember if I actually liked them :/ I also fantasize about my past crushes and I remember imagining myself marrying them.

Sexual Orientation OCD

princess🧚🏼‍♀️

Date posted: 5y

girl don’t even worry about it !! im the exact same !! when i was younger i would always be scared or “embarassed” to admit i had crushes on boys. And although i would fantasize about them (till now) i still don’t want a relationship. I never had a boyfriend. I just want to focus on my studies for now. Most of the boys my age (16 btw) don’t have the best intentions, and just want to add a new person to their list. So i just dont want to waste my time, get heartbroken, etc i wanna focus on what actually matters

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

Yeah!! I'm young too lol. Omg reading these comments somehow made me think that "i'm forced to like boys" and my heart started beating. Omg what the heck!! ??

princess🧚🏼‍♀️

Date posted: 5y

@stars its all just hocd. ur not forced to like boys. how old are u ?

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@princess??‍♀️ i'm 15

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@princess??‍♀️ omg i feel like i am like my heart is beating ugh :/

princess🧚🏼‍♀️

Date posted: 5y

@stars do u have instagram so we can talk ? (u dont have to if u dont wanna share ur account because i understand hahah)

princess🧚🏼‍♀️

Date posted: 5y

@stars ahh i just requested to follow u ! i would really appreciate it if u could add me to the gc :)

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@princess??‍♀️ Yeah, I believe I just added you

Mia Mia

Date posted: 5y

Don’t worry at all! I dated a boy for six months and never told my dad about him because I was soooo embarrassed. Also, I am terrified of sex which kind of goes with your fear of dating. It’s normal.

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

Yes!! Like I love the idea of it, but I'm just scared because I feel like I won't be good enough you know? And I don't catch feelings easily either, but when I do..... it's bad ???

Mia Mia

Date posted: 5y

@stars I feel you. My thing is I’m scared of the pain. I don’t think I’m ready for it

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@???? Me too and I'm also scared that I'll never like them fully or i'll end up being unloyal. Also, I'm still not completely over my first love. I still think about it so that's kinda holding me back

Mia Mia

Date posted: 5y

I truly believe that your first love will always be apart of you. I never even kissed him but he will always be apart of me which sounds stupid. Sorry for asking but have you ever had your first kiss? If so have you kissed anyone while fighting HOCD?

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

Nope!! It was unrequited but i even imagined us marrying each other and stuff.

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

Oh and I never had my first kiss lol

Mia Mia

Date posted: 5y

Haha I imagined marrying my first love too!

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