I just remembered I used to watch bestiality porn when I was younger, maybe around 11 or 12... maybe even child porn... should I bring this up with my therapist? I feel like a terrible person because of it but I dont know how to quite mention it because it's so disturbing and embarrassing.. I feel like a monster :(

I agree with you. But there are people "still" suffering and having child porn could lead to trouble. Believe it or not I'm trying to help. There are people who dont understand, But I'm glad she found a therapist who does. There are teachers who admitted they had pocd and lost everything.

Thank you, I will definitely try to bring it up with my therapist, but I'm not quite sure how to word it. I feel disgusting even just writing it here :( I already told her about other incidents in the past and she was kind but idk

@Kc88 I’m just not sure that you have a full grasp on the difference between POCD and actual pedophilia. Someone who is a pedophile would want to watch child pornography. Someone with POCD would be afraid that they might watch it. Worryqueen may have looked at it as a child, which would be a different situation. I’m just afraid that your lack of understanding is going to make things worse for people reading your posts. I know you are coming from a place of wanting to help, but maybe read up on POCD a bit. Itd be absolutely illegal to fire a teacher for having POCD. I’m saying this as a teacher with POCD who understands my rights. Again I know you are wanting to help but I just want to make sure you don’t spread misinformation that can hurt people.

@worryqueen I know, it can be so hard ? I remember telling my therapist about worrying that I was aroused my my second grade students at the time. It was just so weird and uncomfortable to tell her. But once I did, I could finally address the OCD and get better. So I’m rooting for you! I’m glad she was supportive about similar issues that you’ve shared.

@Yayfortherapy Now what if you said that at the next school assembly? How would the parents react? Not everyone would understand and and be as forgiving as this app. that was my point... to find the RIGHT therapist to help her not just any therapist. But she made the point that she found one. Therapists are just ordinary people like those in the assembly.

@Yayfortherapy And I want nothing more than her to find help

Thank you, I will try to

Are you saying I should not bring it up?

I've already talked to her about parts of my real event ocd involved my younger sister and she was understanding and theres were no problems as it happened when I was a child. I'm hoping it'll be the same for this.

I do want to get better.... what do you mean? I wouldn't have posted here if I didnt, and i have done or seen anything of the sorts since that time.

@worryqueen I'm not judging you. I just wanted to be clear. I get terrible thoughts too who am I to judge yours?

@Kc88 Sorry if I came off harsh I was just worried you thought I was still engaging in this behaviour. It's been about 6 years since then, and I havent talked about it with anyone, so I'm very nervous and feel like shit

@worryqueen I get it. I can be your shoulder :). People in this app for the most part understand you completely. We just dont have the education and tools to help you professionally. But the professionals dont understand you completely. Get it?

@Kc88 Yes, I get it. I wish it could be both, but I know my therapist will most likely not understand completely. As long as she can help me, though, I pray she'll try.