Has anyone else told their therapist any anxieties about porn or sex? It's a subject I feel awkward talking about because it's so personal and I'm nervous to being it up. Will she judge me if I mention I watch taboo porn? Am I a bad person because of it?

Yeah I just dont know how to bring it up. How do I actually get the words out of my mouth? It's too difficult, but at the same time I dont want to live with these thoughts alone. .

But what am I supposed to do then?

@worryqueen Make a note that you'll bring it up at an appropriate moment, then do response prevention by not ruminating :)

@Scoggy I will tell my therapist that I want to tell her something but I cant cause I think it's a compulsion. Does that sound good? Shes actually asked me before if going to her was a compulsion bc I saw her due to my real event ocd.

@worryqueen I don't think that there is any need to confess to her that you have something to confess. Because I think really it would be due to a hope that she will encourage you to tell her, so that you can confess without a guilty conscience about confessing. I really believe all this is your OCD looking for a way to make it ok to do what it wants you to do. I can't see any reason why you would need to tell her that you want to tell her something but aren't. Instead, tolerate the discomfort of not confessing like we talked about, and bring up this real event OCD at a moment when it's appropriate during the course of therapy (I.e. at a time when your OCD is under control and you are working together on core fears, which are best identified by discussing the various themes you've had and looking for commonalities). The only thing she is going to do once you do confess it, is guiding you to do response prevention about it. If she's remotely good as an OCD therapist, she won't give you a lick of reassurance about whether you're a good person or whether she thinks badly of you about it. So, basically, she's only going to say exactly what I've been saying: identify your mental compulsions, including confession, and don't do them. Redirect your attention when you feel a desire to dwell on the topic. I understand that you're very anxious and feel that you need to confess. You don't. Confessing to all of us didn't make it any better, in fact it just entrenched you more in the issue. It would be the same thing after confessing to a therapist. If your OCD is coming up with loopholes for why it would be a good idea to try to steer the situation towards a scenario where you get to confess, then it's lying to you. All this urge to confess it isn't you, it's OCD.