Hi guys, I'm really sorry but it's me again me. I apologise for posting so often. So, as I've mentioned before, I have POCD (and possible real event and harm OCD, but this doesn't really matter at the moment). I've been struggling a lot with believing that this is not OCD and the real me, hence I've been dealing with a lot of disgut and hate towards myself. One of the things that has recently contributed to the doubt that this is not OCD is absolutely weird, and I apologise beforehand for any confusion caused: I have this thing where I almost don't want to be productive at all. It seems that I don't want to do my university work, read, listen to podcasts, finish my first embroidery, or anything that brings me happines and requires focus and attention. It feels like I would rather act on my thoughts, especially that I live with a child - my brother who is 8 years old - which to my brain seems really easy to do. It feels like I don't want to spend time being a productive, good person but harm children and being a disgusting deviant instead. I really tried to focus on my university work today, as it has piled up for the past months and I really need to get it done as soon as possible, but all I was able to think about was that I wanted to go and harm my brother. As always, it came with a really strong and overwhelming sensation. Me trying to focus on reading articles and learning stuff seemed so fake; I felt so in denial. As I've said in other posts, I really think I have some very weird symptoms, if I can call them that, that don't match with OCD, and I haven't seen anyone talking about this type of symptoms before, which makes my worry even more terrible. The worst thing is that this is not the only weird symptom I'm currently dealing with; I have so, so many others, and they all scare me and make me feel like a true pervert. Anyways... I'm really sorry for the lengthy text or/and if it makes no sense, but I really needed to share this with you as I've been feeling so miserable all day for experiencing this. Thank you so much for reading and being patient with me. I would like to know your opinions regarding this. I hope you have a lovely evening or day, depending on where you are on this planet. Take care x

POCD

Rob12

Date posted: 5y

Ocd thoughts can come as “urges” too! I know it’s hard, but try not to judge yourself based on how the thoughts come in, just let them be. Analyzing the thoughts feeds into the ocd and makes the cycle worse unfortunately. Try to be kind to yourself, you deserve it, even if you feel like you don’t :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Ocd can take lots of weird forms, just because it feels like no one else has the specific symptoms you do doesn’t mean it isn’t ocd. I have lots of symptoms specific to me that I doubt other people are experiencing. I think these fears that it’s not ocd are part of your ocd...it’s really not uncommon for people with ocd to doubt that they have ocd. The best way to handle it is to sit with the uncertainty. Maybe it is real, but probably it isn’t. Avoid compulsions related to that thought. Keep sticking to the ERP. Hope your taking care! ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for your help and support, guys!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I've just realised that I've made quite a lot of grammar mistakes. I apologise for that!

Anxiousaddie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

I know this is super old but I feel similar. When I try to work I get a lot of intrusive that I would rather be doing bad things. It is awful

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