MJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 5y
People fantasize about all sorts of things. Some of which are normalized in culture, others that tend to be taboo. When I was a teenage boy, I fantasized about women both near my age and far older. I’d say almost everyone could agree. And someone’s porn habits aren’t necessarily indicative of real world desires. There’s a ten year gap between me and my partner. Our age is immaterial to our relationship, but she has said she didn’t want to date someone her age because she generally found them to be less mature or focused in life. That doesn’t mean that every younger man isn’t mature or focused, just what she was particularly interested in. I just happened to fall in love with her. She’s 23 and I’m 34.
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks, I appreciate it. I don't watch porn anymore anyway (probably avoidance bc of OCD) but as a teenager I did fantasise about older men, hence why I watched the categories I did. OCD makes me feel guilty for it even though it's fine as long as everyone is over 18 which in porn they are. I mean, I would still date an older man for the same reasons your girlfriend stated. I don't like that OCD turns things into something their not and that OCD is torturing me over this :( But thanks I appreciate your insight, its helped.
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 5y
@MJocd Any time! If you analyze or ruminate on anything it can be a source of anxiety. It’s the nature of the disorder we live with. It’s super common for many younger women to be interested in older men. And that interest doesn’t necessarily mean you’d pursue it in real life. I had apprehensions about dating someone younger than me—I even talked with my therapist about it—but decided she made me happy and there was no reason to not be with someone I love just because there’s social expectations about what constitutes an acceptable relationship. She’s an adult and so I am.
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Thankyou, I really appreciate it. If I never had the themes of OCD I've been dealing with in my early 20s, I would never have looked back at my teenage years and even given it a second thought. I would have just taken it as a phase teenagers go through or a phase I went though, but ofc OCD wants to analyse it and dissect it and find out what it means about my person and if it means anything bad about me. Back when I was a teenager I was dealing with health OCD stuff, so I wasnt hyperaware of anything like this back then. I do hope OCD wont attack my relationship if I do ever date someone older (which I've always seen happening tbh) but I'm sure it will, just is what it is I guess. :( Thanks again ❤
Carl CornettCarl Cornett
- Date posted
- 5y
@MJocd If it does, there’s tools you can utilize to deal with it! My theme is unrelated to my OCD, but I work daily to manage my condition and it’s given me so much of my life back.
IhateOCD99IhateOCD99
- Date posted
- 5y
Why is wanting to date an older men wrong? I don't see any reason why you should not do that.
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
I get that, but I feel like there is something strange about me wanting that so much when I was a teenager. Idk :(
IhateOCD99IhateOCD99
- Date posted
- 5y
@MJocd Nothing strange about it. I sometimes had crushes on teachers ? so don't worry, there is nothing wrong with you
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@bm99 I guess, but what about watching porn with older men in it ? isn't that just too much? I mean I'm sure I'm not the only one in the world hence why such categories exist on porn websites but idk, feels creepy idk. I remember my cousin telling me she is attracted to older men aswell so i know I'm not and never was alone lol but idk, ocd is feeding off this :(
IhateOCD99IhateOCD99
- Date posted
- 5y
@MJocd What is the age gap you're talking about?
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@bm99 Well idk, any older man it didnt really bother me. I dont watch porn anymore so this is a few years ago.
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- Date posted
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