Hello everyone! (Existential Obsessions) I have struggled with anxiety since I was a young boy. I remember worrying when I was younger that I was inadvertently trying to harm my mother, even though I love my mother more than anyone in the world. It’s shifted more times than I can count, from worrying about poisoning or contamination to thinking that I had heart disease. It’s all the same animal just shape shifting into whatever I fear most at the given time. Currently, (trigger warning) I am constantly obsessed with the fear of developing some sort of delusion or schizophrenia. I am 25 years old (I know that it would’ve probably developed by now) and have no schizophrenia in my gene pool. But I am constantly checking my thoughts to see if they sound delusional or if I am hallucinating my reality. This of course if extremely frustrating for someone with OCD because there is never going to be any definitive proof that I am not going mad. It has caused me extreme discomfort over the past few months and has brought me to extreme states of panic. I was wondering if any of you deal with existential OCD or fears of losing touch with reality. Of course, some days this seems laughable and others I can almost taste the insanity. On paper, everything in my life is going amazingly but in truth I can’t seem to enjoy any of it because I have these nightmarish intrusions of everything falling apart around me. Is this a common symptom? P.S I already run a few miles a day, meditate, do yoga and am working on strengthening my CBT. Any other suggestions?

Hi all , please comment if you’re experiencing what I’m about to share . I am going through a very tough time with existential fears & very frightening thoughts to a point where the thought of myself sends me into a spiral. I ask myself “am I even existing right now as I’m typing this” “ how do I know that I’m not already dead or in a purgatory “how do I confirm that I even exist” what if I’ve already died and this is what death feels like “ nothing & no one around me feels real , I look at my kids & my husband & question their existence. I’ve also been suffering from severe depersonalisation/derealisation & I don’t know which one is triggering the other ! I also suffer from harm ocd where I’m forever worrying that I might lose control & harm my family whom I love to bits & I’m always battling the nightmare inside me that makes me believe that I’ve already hurt them but I just don’t know it … I’m on lexapro & have been for two years but I find that all it does is numb my emotions, I can’t cry & at times worry that if sharpens to someone I love , I may not be able to cry or show emotions . I am convinced that I’ve developed schizophrenia 🥲🥲 which has always been my worst fear! Or that I’ve gone psychotic without realising . I cannot see myself out of this hole & my brain had forgotten what being a normal person once felt like 🥲🥲. I was seeing a psychologist and he did ERP with me but sadly that did Not help so I stopped seeing him altogether & lost faith in therapy altogether ! Sorry this is a very long post but I just want to know that someone out there is experiencing the same symptoms and has gotten over it through ERP or other medication ? Because I feel like I’m the only one suffering from this debilitating illness and there’s no way out!

Been really struggling with existential OCD since I’ve been dealing with derealization due to high stress levels. I constantly ruminate on how weird it is that we exist. I often ponder solipsism, too. Sometimes I convince myself I am the only person that exists and so I start to try to test that theory by asking questions to my family/friends and trying to predict their answers. I find this ridiculous intellectually but it’s a compulsion I can’t seem to stop. I find existential themes particularly distressing due to the fact that these ideas are unfalsifiable for the most part. Every day I wake up in a dissociated state, constantly feeling this awful dread about existence and how strange it is and how alone I feel in it even though I am not alone technically.

Hi everyone if you haven’t read my latest posting I’m ysabelle & I am 16 years old and this is my on going battle with OCD, depression, anxiety and DPDR. To start off if you want to hear my story of how I first got it I have another post up! I wanted to ask if anyone has every experienced existential intrusive thoughts but has suicidal OCD too. I’ve been trying to find some type of comfort because the first theme I had with intrusive thoughts were suicidal/ harm. I’ve learned how to deal with them where they don’t bother me like they used to, long story short I was having existential intrusive thoughts without knowing it. I thought I was developing dementia because I would stare at my mom and an intrusive thought popped up into my head “ what if you don’t know her “ she was my comfort until that day. I was terrified thinking I didn’t know her or recognize her like I used to. Well I wanted to ask if anyone has dealt with suicidal OCD but existential thoughts like “what’s the point of living if we die anyways?” & how did you cope? I was overthinking because I was trying to figure out if I was suicidal because I would get these thoughts and it made me feel uncomfortable and just more defeated and depressed. I now know it’s the existential intrusive thoughts so I do feel a little better. I was thinking these thoughts were coming from me because of my depression but I’m trying everyday !🫶🏻☀️