- Username
- Christian
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Christian, what do you mean by “there is never going to be any definitive proof that I am not going mad”? Okay, here’s the thing. If you were truly going mad, you wouldn’t even be aware that you were going mad. The fact that you have awareness that you could be going mad, is in fact proof that you are not, indeed, going mad. Hope that makes sense ?
I get a similar thing. I am terrified of developing schizophrenia. PTW I sometimes have to spell OCD but the full version forwards and backwards and than forwards again to make sure that I get OCD and not schizophrenia even though I know that that has no rational connection. Going over your thoughts and if you match the symptoms of schizophrenia will only make it worse(trust me I know more easily said than done) but try to stay away from googling symptoms because I know that once I got a handle on that things got a bit easier
I don’t have these specific intrusive thoughts, but I understand what you mean when you say that you’re life is great, but you can’t enjoy it because of ocd! My advice: Keep doing the things you love. When you have ocd, it can make you fear and avoid doing the things that comfort you, and can try to turn everything against you. I hope you feel bettet
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Have you ever told your symptoms to an OCD specialist?
@Pineapple Thank you! Definitely appreciate that. I suppose the lack of “definitive proof” comes in when I think about philosophy and how we will never actually know others perception or the nature of reality. It’s the age old thing of “I think therefor I am” but my OCD sends that to degrees that haunt and unsettle me. I need to just have faith in my relationships and in the now but my OCD certainly loves to make me question existence typically when everything seems to be going great for me.
Hey @christian you mention that life is going amazingly for you. Do you take sometime everyday to reflect on that? I recently heard from my friend that she writes ten things she’s grateful for every morning and it’s something I’m hoping to do as well.
@ily9k I definitely should implement that into my morning routine. Thank you for the advice!
@Mjs110160 I have never been to an OCD specialist but I am currently in therapy and doing CBT.
Hi all , please comment if you’re experiencing what I’m about to share . I am going through a very tough time with existential fears & very frightening thoughts to a point where the thought of myself sends me into a spiral. I ask myself “am I even existing right now as I’m typing this” “ how do I know that I’m not already dead or in a purgatory “how do I confirm that I even exist” what if I’ve already died and this is what death feels like “ nothing & no one around me feels real , I look at my kids & my husband & question their existence. I’ve also been suffering from severe depersonalisation/derealisation & I don’t know which one is triggering the other ! I also suffer from harm ocd where I’m forever worrying that I might lose control & harm my family whom I love to bits & I’m always battling the nightmare inside me that makes me believe that I’ve already hurt them but I just don’t know it … I’m on lexapro & have been for two years but I find that all it does is numb my emotions, I can’t cry & at times worry that if sharpens to someone I love , I may not be able to cry or show emotions . I am convinced that I’ve developed schizophrenia 🥲🥲 which has always been my worst fear! Or that I’ve gone psychotic without realising . I cannot see myself out of this hole & my brain had forgotten what being a normal person once felt like 🥲🥲. I was seeing a psychologist and he did ERP with me but sadly that did Not help so I stopped seeing him altogether & lost faith in therapy altogether ! Sorry this is a very long post but I just want to know that someone out there is experiencing the same symptoms and has gotten over it through ERP or other medication ? Because I feel like I’m the only one suffering from this debilitating illness and there’s no way out!
Been really struggling with existential OCD since I’ve been dealing with derealization due to high stress levels. I constantly ruminate on how weird it is that we exist. I often ponder solipsism, too. Sometimes I convince myself I am the only person that exists and so I start to try to test that theory by asking questions to my family/friends and trying to predict their answers. I find this ridiculous intellectually but it’s a compulsion I can’t seem to stop. I find existential themes particularly distressing due to the fact that these ideas are unfalsifiable for the most part. Every day I wake up in a dissociated state, constantly feeling this awful dread about existence and how strange it is and how alone I feel in it even though I am not alone technically.
Hi everyone if you haven’t read my latest posting I’m ysabelle & I am 16 years old and this is my on going battle with OCD, depression, anxiety and DPDR. To start off if you want to hear my story of how I first got it I have another post up! I wanted to ask if anyone has every experienced existential intrusive thoughts but has suicidal OCD too. I’ve been trying to find some type of comfort because the first theme I had with intrusive thoughts were suicidal/ harm. I’ve learned how to deal with them where they don’t bother me like they used to, long story short I was having existential intrusive thoughts without knowing it. I thought I was developing dementia because I would stare at my mom and an intrusive thought popped up into my head “ what if you don’t know her “ she was my comfort until that day. I was terrified thinking I didn’t know her or recognize her like I used to. Well I wanted to ask if anyone has dealt with suicidal OCD but existential thoughts like “what’s the point of living if we die anyways?” & how did you cope? I was overthinking because I was trying to figure out if I was suicidal because I would get these thoughts and it made me feel uncomfortable and just more defeated and depressed. I now know it’s the existential intrusive thoughts so I do feel a little better. I was thinking these thoughts were coming from me because of my depression but I’m trying everyday !🫶🏻☀️
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