- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s really really interesting seeing lesbians talk about this and I see it more and more lately . I’m a heterosexual woman who feared being bi or a lesbian and I’m very girly and love being feminine and attracting men but I was scared what if I was just a feminine lesbian or bisexual. I pretty much got past HOCD but it morphed into TOCD and I’m fearing that I’m only presenting as feminine but really want to be a man / act as a man and it’s so terrible . I read a story about someone who presented as feminine but later transitioned into a man and I get so scared that story scared the hell out of me . For weeks my thoughts told me I hated my breasts and now I get groinal responses and intrusive thoughts tell me I hate my vagina .... sorry this is really detailed and so uncomfortable to write ? but I understand how you feel and it’s absolute hell !!! I get triggered by noticing and feeling certain areas of my body not because I hate them but I fear I will want them gone and destroy myself . But I’ve been doing ERP and also self CBT and my therapist also mentioned mindfulness to me and it helps so much . We all realize these are just thoughts and it’s only if we want to act on them do they mean anything and it all seems soooo real . We are strong people ❤️❤️❤️ we will rise above this !!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much! That was really inspirational! It means a lot knowing that someone else feels the way I feel. Sometimes when I notice new symptoms or thoughts, I think “there’s no way this is normal or that someone else has been through this”, but thank you for proving me wrong.
- Date posted
- 5y
i'm going through the absolute opposite of what you're going through. i'm a masculine woman but i like boys and i'm scared that i might be a lesbian because no boys like boyish girls and since i'm naturally buff i thought "oh my god, what if i was made to like girls? what if i was suffering comphet and never realized that i like girls? i must be in denial." and i had to delete tiktok because whenever i saw masculine/butch lesbians my head would take it as a sign of the universe (??? yeah, sounds pretty funny) or as proof that all masculine women must be bi or a lesbian. it has been stuck with me for four months now and i'm going crazy. good luck to you and i hope you find a way to recover.
- Date posted
- 5y
This resonates with my obsessions. I identify as asexual, and my OCD gets tied up in knots about "what if other people assume I'm sexual". The compulsions are doing things to try to look "unsexy". My therapist and I are working on accepting the fact that I cannot control what other people think
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 20w
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
- Date posted
- 19w
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was “i thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriend” and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i can’t seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i don’t want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i don’t want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
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