- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s really really interesting seeing lesbians talk about this and I see it more and more lately . I’m a heterosexual woman who feared being bi or a lesbian and I’m very girly and love being feminine and attracting men but I was scared what if I was just a feminine lesbian or bisexual. I pretty much got past HOCD but it morphed into TOCD and I’m fearing that I’m only presenting as feminine but really want to be a man / act as a man and it’s so terrible . I read a story about someone who presented as feminine but later transitioned into a man and I get so scared that story scared the hell out of me . For weeks my thoughts told me I hated my breasts and now I get groinal responses and intrusive thoughts tell me I hate my vagina .... sorry this is really detailed and so uncomfortable to write ? but I understand how you feel and it’s absolute hell !!! I get triggered by noticing and feeling certain areas of my body not because I hate them but I fear I will want them gone and destroy myself . But I’ve been doing ERP and also self CBT and my therapist also mentioned mindfulness to me and it helps so much . We all realize these are just thoughts and it’s only if we want to act on them do they mean anything and it all seems soooo real . We are strong people ❤️❤️❤️ we will rise above this !!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much! That was really inspirational! It means a lot knowing that someone else feels the way I feel. Sometimes when I notice new symptoms or thoughts, I think “there’s no way this is normal or that someone else has been through this”, but thank you for proving me wrong.
- Date posted
- 5y
i'm going through the absolute opposite of what you're going through. i'm a masculine woman but i like boys and i'm scared that i might be a lesbian because no boys like boyish girls and since i'm naturally buff i thought "oh my god, what if i was made to like girls? what if i was suffering comphet and never realized that i like girls? i must be in denial." and i had to delete tiktok because whenever i saw masculine/butch lesbians my head would take it as a sign of the universe (??? yeah, sounds pretty funny) or as proof that all masculine women must be bi or a lesbian. it has been stuck with me for four months now and i'm going crazy. good luck to you and i hope you find a way to recover.
- Date posted
- 5y
This resonates with my obsessions. I identify as asexual, and my OCD gets tied up in knots about "what if other people assume I'm sexual". The compulsions are doing things to try to look "unsexy". My therapist and I are working on accepting the fact that I cannot control what other people think
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was “i thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriend” and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i can’t seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i don’t want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i don’t want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
- Date posted
- 14w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
- Date posted
- 7w
I feel like I want to be lesbian. I want to cry. I gave into compulsions and I went on lesbian TikTok. It feels like something I want to try and do and that I’d be happier. Why is it so real. I don’t want to be lesbian but I feel like I’m pushing down the truth. How do I stop giving into these compulsions and feel better, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t even remember being straight or liking men. I hate this.
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