- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s really really interesting seeing lesbians talk about this and I see it more and more lately . I’m a heterosexual woman who feared being bi or a lesbian and I’m very girly and love being feminine and attracting men but I was scared what if I was just a feminine lesbian or bisexual. I pretty much got past HOCD but it morphed into TOCD and I’m fearing that I’m only presenting as feminine but really want to be a man / act as a man and it’s so terrible . I read a story about someone who presented as feminine but later transitioned into a man and I get so scared that story scared the hell out of me . For weeks my thoughts told me I hated my breasts and now I get groinal responses and intrusive thoughts tell me I hate my vagina .... sorry this is really detailed and so uncomfortable to write ? but I understand how you feel and it’s absolute hell !!! I get triggered by noticing and feeling certain areas of my body not because I hate them but I fear I will want them gone and destroy myself . But I’ve been doing ERP and also self CBT and my therapist also mentioned mindfulness to me and it helps so much . We all realize these are just thoughts and it’s only if we want to act on them do they mean anything and it all seems soooo real . We are strong people ❤️❤️❤️ we will rise above this !!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much! That was really inspirational! It means a lot knowing that someone else feels the way I feel. Sometimes when I notice new symptoms or thoughts, I think “there’s no way this is normal or that someone else has been through this”, but thank you for proving me wrong.
- Date posted
- 5y
i'm going through the absolute opposite of what you're going through. i'm a masculine woman but i like boys and i'm scared that i might be a lesbian because no boys like boyish girls and since i'm naturally buff i thought "oh my god, what if i was made to like girls? what if i was suffering comphet and never realized that i like girls? i must be in denial." and i had to delete tiktok because whenever i saw masculine/butch lesbians my head would take it as a sign of the universe (??? yeah, sounds pretty funny) or as proof that all masculine women must be bi or a lesbian. it has been stuck with me for four months now and i'm going crazy. good luck to you and i hope you find a way to recover.
- Date posted
- 5y
This resonates with my obsessions. I identify as asexual, and my OCD gets tied up in knots about "what if other people assume I'm sexual". The compulsions are doing things to try to look "unsexy". My therapist and I are working on accepting the fact that I cannot control what other people think
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 15w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 15w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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