I thought I was doing better with my pocd, but it’s been tough the last few days. I saw a young girl at the store, and I looked at her on purpose to ‘check’ to see if I was attracted to her. Of course it made it worse. Then ocd tells me, ‘but ok why aren’t you attracted to her? She’s so cute look at her? If you aren’t attracted to her now you will be next time you check.’ It’s like I can’t control the checking. Even when I see a cute kid online, I scroll past them then it’s like ‘wait, but we’re you attracted to him/her? Go back and check!!’ I don’t need reassurance. I just need someone to tell me that with therapy this will get easier because I’m freaking out today ?

The compulsion is to “check”. I can relate to this on some level to check if the thought is real or not. When it comes to thoughts like this, I would resist the urge to check. Instead, acknowledge that the urge is there, accept its presence, and allow the urge to come and go without responding to it. Scrolling back to “check” is in fact responding to the OCD. Remember, the thoughts are there because we keep responding to them!

I think the anxiety from having those thoughts says it all. I would try to take it as another thought from OCD land. “That was a weird thought that (I am okay with pedophiles), I accept that that thought is here, and will allow it to stay and go, but I’d rather focus on what is in front of me rather than ruminate on if (I am okay with pedophiles). “ Resist the urge to figure it out. As I’m sure you have noticed, you’ll find yourself going around in circles. Remember, you are not your thoughts, and you do not have to associate your thoughts with who you are at your core as a human being.

Correct. Notice the urge, allow it to be there, and be mindful of how you are feeling and reacting. Focus your attention on something else. I find telling myself “okay, the possibility of (me being a pedophile) is there, but I’m not going to check right now. Instead, I’m going to focus on what’s right in front of me because that is what is more important.” You’ll find that whatever is in parenthesis is actually replaceable with any OCD fear, be it being a murderer, having a disease, not loving your partner, etc.. etc.. I find that in my journey towards mindfulness, this has been really helpful, and I hope it helps you too! Be sure to speak with your counselor/therapist for the best course of action!