I'm NOT asking for reassurance. I just want to know if I maybe developed depression. My ocd has been fucking me up since more than two years ago. I want to know if I maybe developed depression because of it. If so, I really need therapy. My symptoms are as followed: -No more appetite for more than 6 months -No more sex drive for more than 6 months -When OCD is active, I get recurrent thoughts of suicuide. -low self esteem -thinking that life sucks ass and dying would be better. Can this be caused by depression?

Thanks bro

Thanks for your reply. Couple of moths ago I used to have a therapist on BetterHelp. She diagnosed me with having OCD. But because she is not an OCD specialist, she said that I would be better of talking to an OCD specialist. I have two problems contacting a therapist. 1) I'm scared of doing ERP. What if the HOCD or POCD or personality disorders are true? I don't want a life like that. Only thing that I want is meeting a sweet girl, getting married and travel the world. Not anything else. 2) Getting an OCD specialist is very expensive. I was thinking about contacting Ali Greymond, because she is affordable for me. But again, what if those fears come true? I know I can't go trougj this way, because these thoughts are feeling more real than ever and I feel more depressed than ever. Everything is getting worse. How did you recover from OCD?

@bm99 ERP is scary to start. And it’s scary to do. But it’s literally the best treatment we have for OCD. Getting treatment for OCD doesn’t mean accepting a life you don’t want. It means working towards a life you do. Also: Specialists can be expensive but I’ve heard Ali Greymonds is actually quite a bit more expensive than others. But I could be wrong. Most will charge $80-$150 a session. Some will provide a sliding scale and many will be flexible with how many appointments you can reasonably afford a month. Usually you want to go once a week, but if you can only afford once every other week, that’s better than not going. Right now you’re in a lot of pain and what you’re doing isn’t working. If you could fix this on your own, you would have by now. Time to get help! I went to an OCD specialist for 6 months. My OCD went from about a 9/10 to maybe a 2 or 3 some days. Recovery is very possible. It just has to be prioritized.

@pureolife Thanks for your reply. I know ERP is the only way out unfortunately. But like you said, it feels like I'm admitting the thoughts to be true. I know that this is not the case, but thinking of the doubt that my fears might come true terrifies me and make me don't want to do ERP. It's very difficult☹️. Could you please recommend some good therapist who are not very expensive? I have to pay all of it by myself, and since I'm still a student, it's not something where I can spend thousand of dollars on. Thanks again!

@bm99 I think once you face your fear of ERP and learn more about it as you do it you’ll feel much better knowing you’re tackling this thing the right way. This app offers therapy and is covered by a few insurance companies. I’d also recommend the OCD center in LA (they offer therapy online): https://ocdla.com/ However you may be able to find someone local (depending on where you are) through here: https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/

@pureolife I live in Europe so I can't use insurance unfortunately. The location where I life do not have any OCD specialists near. So it has to be online therapy. Thanks again for your reply!