Quick rant It’s crazy in middle school and high school I was known as that Fboy who would cheat on his girlfriends and get with so many girls, and now have hocd. It started out so stupidly too. Me and my girlfriend made a fake tinder with her pictures and started “bullying” guys calling them simps and whatnot. I had fun w that, and when she went home, I kept doing it. After a few hours of doing it, in my head I was like “is it gay that I like this?” While I think this is what started it, I could be wrong, i have trouble remembering things now. I know that I’d avoid making eye contact with guys, otherwise I’d think that they thought I was gay. If there was an attractive guy I’d get anxious and tried not to look at his face. And then after smoking weed, I drove my friend home, and I was feeling really anxious, and when I looked at him, I got the thought “do I wanna kiss him? Should I?” And then I got anxious I thought “why would I think that” but the next day I completely forgot. That happened when I was high like 3 times, and once when I was on lsd. This was all in the span of one year. What makes me reluctant to say this was hocd, was that at the time I didn’t obsess too much about the thoughts. I was too busy obsessing about my weight I guess. I had become obsessed at that with not eating and going to the gym and I became depressed because even though everyone told me I was skinny, I thought I was fat. Then in January of this year, I got the flu for a week. After a week, I got better and BAM. I got the thought “i think I’m gay, should I tell my parents” and I got an anxiety attack. I never consciously made that decision, nor did I put any thought into it, so I was confused as to why I thought that. After that I became depressed and anxious. I quit my job because we got a new worker who was gay and I just kept comparing myself to see if I was similar to him, and then I remembered the friend I had the gay thoughts about works there. Then I dropped out of the semester because it was too hard to concentrate. Fast forward to now, I’m a hell of a lot better, I’d say 75% better. I still get things that bother me, and make me overthink like seeing attractive men in movies, or seeing anything related to my friend. I’m thinking about doing one of those calls with one of the therapists on this app to see if they could help with that 25% I need, to feel 100% like I used to.