HELP So I’ve started imagining situations as a form of a compulsion, when I masterbaiting over porn( women only) I have to imagine what it would be like with a man to check if I like it more and each time I do it the less disgusted I feel and the more aroused, what if this just means I’m fucking gay, it’s like every time I master-bait I have to check and it’s like I’m getting addicted and my hocd is telling me I’m using it as a excuse to wank over the gay thoughts, but I always cum over the women in the porn, how can I beat this shit, Like I’ve started having dreams about girls again but my hocd has taken away my satisfaction, so I’ve been seeing if the gay thoughts bring me satisfaction but they really don’t, I don’t get this I feel so sick after and so unhappy, I just know gay ain’t for me but I don’t know how long I can fight these thoughts I feel like these compulsions have turned me gay, like the constant imagining, Also when I try to imagine a man having sex with me like as erp it’s always a girl, like my brain knows I want to be with a girl but this shit won’t go

Yep, I have been there too. Firstly, you said this shit won't go, and you're right. It won't go away as long as you continue to question, reassure, check or anything in hope to be 100% sure that you are straight because they are all compulsions. Secondly, an Erp should not be use to find out if you're gay, straight or bi. Erp is made to brake the ocd cycle and to desensitized you from your intrusives thoughts, urges, sensations, etc. Erp is all about feeling and not reacting. You must let the thoughts come, without stopping or minimizing them, then let your anxiety rise and stay with you, without judging yourself and without compulsions, and then let your anxiety go down. Once you practice it a lot, you will realize that by not addressing your thoughts, nothing bad happened. You won't turn gay. Of course it's easier said than done, but you should consider therapy. At least with a therapist you will avoid the common pit falls that come whit practicing ERP. Because everyone can practice erp, but correctly, that's another story.

Well, you are in distress and have anxiety when the though of being with a guy comes up,because you are constantly checking yourself for signs of arousal. So how does that compare when you think about girls. I guess girls makes you feel good and guys stress you, right? Are you stress and anxious when you watch naked girls? One fact you should know about the human body. The body will always react in a sexual way to sexual contents, no matters what your preference is. So judging your level of arousal depending on what you see or imagine, means nothing at all.

Well only one remedy, maybe too much porn. Because we always want more and more excitement, we get to a point were "regular" porn doesn't satisfy us anymore. So we are tempted to go into less "normal" porn and more into hardcore or kinky stuff. If not careful, it's a never ending escalation where every precedent stuff become less and less satisfying. It's like if you are burning each time, your capacity to feel satisfied. Porn is good but like everything else, with moderation.

Yeah I get you, just I Denver a time when I was happy I wasn’t gay now it’s making me feel bad yk

Remember *

I know it makes us feel horrible. So if you want it to stop for good, consider therapy. Please, it's for your own good, + it work great because i been through therapy so i know what it can do for you.