Im honestly exhausted. Ive had 4 panic attacks in the last 48hrs and all I wanna do is sleep. My thoughts have worsened and they say I "want" to hurt my son when I truly don't. My son is with his father in another state right now and is due back in Sept. Im honestly so freaked out. I have horrible images and I just want them to go away. I picture myself carrying out horrible acts. My ocd finishes my sentences and brkngs attention back to my thoughts when im thinking something positive. I hate this so much.

I just had another panic attack. I hate this feeling and I hate these thoughts. Im very afraid, I feel like I don't even know who I am.

@luchalysol god i get that, i was just going through something aswell a second ago but remember that nothings forever and this will all blow over soon. have you tried going to therapy or doing cbt or erp yet?

@luchalysol also i’m sorry to hear that you had another panic attack D: idk if you saw but i listed some apps below that helps me whenever i have anxiety

@saltedcrabs I recently had my evaluation so Im starting treatment. I know it may get worse before it gets better but Im just afraid at how worse its getting.

@saltedcrabs Yes I did see. I downloaded one already, thank you!

@luchalysol yeah that’s understandable, if it makes you feel any better you’re def doing way better than me when i was first being evaluated so imagine how well you’ll be doing when you actually do start treatment! i know things are hard but it’s best to try your best to remain positive

@saltedcrabs Thank you! I really hope so. This has created a huge wedge between my son and I. I want him in my life and I want to be a good mom but my thoughts have just taken over. It makes me like a horrible person.

Sorry to hear your going through this. It's a hard thing to deal with. Just remember you are not alone. Try anything you can to get your mind away from it. Any hobbies or anything you enjoy. What treatment are you going to start doing?

@kls323 Im starting erp with nocd. My first appt is on the 20th. Im taking it little by little but Im pushing myself to start working out again. Ive always loved to lift weight but recently Ive lost the joy for it. I started yesterday.

@luchalysol Good for you! That's a start. Exercise is a great idea.

@kls323 Im honestly very greateful I have my cat Okie with me. He akways manages to get me laughing with his antics. Im excited to keep working out and getting out of this funk and overcome my ocd. I think that with the quarantine and all the virtue signaling has made me question my own good virtue and fueled my ocd. So Im trying my best to take it in stride and get better. Focusing on becoming who I want to be. I also decided to volunteer at the food bank next Monday. Ive been so isolated that I feel being around others even if I feel uncomfortable cause I question how safe I an to others will help. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just wanna live a happy and normal life.

@luchalysol Grateful*

@luchalysol I am the same. There are some days im fine but some other days it's way worse. This quarantine has made it worse for alot of people, including me. I have kids and it's hard. We just have to try our best and beat it one day at a time.