I’m too the point where I’m so far gone I don’t even have any anxiety about accepting being gay anymore it’s like it’s stuck with me now, I notice dudes more than I do girls now and it’s so strange cause my whole life I thought I was a straight I was girl crazy literally this time last year and now it just faded away I’d do anything to just go back savior those moments of me being normal again, ERP doesn’t work cause I don’t even get anxious at the thoughts anymore I just feel like this is something a 16 year old shouldn’t go through if they weren’t meant to be gay. I’m totally convinced I’m gay, I’m totally convinced I’ve been living a lie my whole life I can remember how I use to feel about girls I fell in love with, and I can’t fall in love now either. I can’t masturbate without intrusive thoughts I’m actually starting to enjoy and now it’s like I have no motivation to get better at all. I feel depressed and feel like an exception to this HOCD don’t even think I had it in the first place I use to find women mesmerizing and now I can’t even find out why I liked them in the first place and the fact that it doesn’t give me anxiety like it use to scares me. I’ve had this for 4-5 months and I don’t even know what to do now I’m probably just in denial or in the closet.

Sexual Orientation OCD

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

I'm 15 and I understand what you're going through. I wasn't boy-crazy which makes my situation so freaking hard. I dont know anymore, I feel like my hormones are doing something to me and it's not ocd :(

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

Yeah that’s what I thought at first but it’s just spun all over the place

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@Tyler11 I feel like society influenced me :((( I don't even know anymore. I'm so scared about going back to school and realizing some thing or discovering.

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

@stars Same I went through the society phase too and tbh I don’t know I feel like regardless I would’ve known if I was gay even if I was influenced but who knows tbh cause I don’t anymore lol

starry duck

Date posted: 5y

@Tyler11 I feel like i do know but I'm just scared to admit it because of society. I hate this so much like I don't understand how I do not know myself... I feel so insecure

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

@stars Yeah I feel that

shonibash01

Date posted: 5y

Bro, your libido got shut down i think due to anxiety

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

I’m not asking for reassurance I’m not asking for anything I just feel like I’m the one that has to deal with this on my own I’m the exception

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

Everybody says deep down they know who they’re they know they’re straight but too me deep down I don’t know anymore I’ve lost everything this year everything I wanted I use to daydream about girls and I’ve had that stripped away from me life isn’t fair anymore and I don’t know if I wanna be apart of it I miss the simpler days were I liked girls without a second thought I’m just angry angry at the world being gay was not the thing I desired at all. It’s like I’ve been forced into it

xxsxxb

Date posted: 5y

I’m about the same age and I know exactly how you are feeling. I feel like a gay person wouldn’t react like how I do to this especially when I didn’t rush my sexuality when I was in puberty. I said whatever and I just figured out I liked boys. I had a huge crush on this guy forever and then j had to get over it and now I had strange feeling for a girl and it didn’t feel right and it just made me go crazy then a little pause and then really go insane inside. I know you want to know now but talk more to your theaspist. I can’t believe this is my life either at this age. It really isn’t fair for anyone.

YesYou

Date posted: 5y

99% of america could couldn't care less if you were gay. You are the 1%. Let that sink in...

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

I understand that but all my life I’ve been attracted to girls this just changed so quick

YesYou

Date posted: 5y

@Tyler11 I get it you dont have to explain. Do you talk to girls?

Tyler11

Date posted: 5y

@Kc88 Yeah I do all the time I’ve had multiple girlfriends too it’s just i can’t get this doubt out of my head

YesYou

Date posted: 5y

Honestly I would tell people I was gay just to weed out the fakes lmao

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