PLEASE HELP, is this even hocd anymore Like at first I would avoid everything, like I wouldn’t even like my own dick because it would make me feel sick cause another man had one, I also deleted all social media and didn’t go outside because I feared the idea of being gay, now I have no anxiety and get aroused by the thoughts sometimes, this is fucking with me cause now idk what I want So I have been getting better, I have woke up today and knew I was straight but then I started checking if I like the gay thoughts because like being straight still didn’t feel right, ( like something was missing) I still ain’t got my full attraction to girls back, I started doing compulsions like saying to myself it’s ok if I get aroused and imagining gay sex, like I acc had to force myself to imagine it, like I would see a girl when I tried to imagine gay sex, but still that wasn’t enough reassurance so I tried to imagine a boy. But now my hocd is saying I like men more than women cause I’m trying to imagine a scenario, This is fucked up but I still don’t have certainty if I do or don’t like these gay thoughts, I just want to be back to being straight and only straight, I’ve heard that sexuality can’t change at all and I’ve always been exclusively in love with girls but due to porn addiction and escalations I watched weird shit, My anxiety has calmed down and sometimes these gay thoughts make me feel so sick but sometimes I feel aroused and it just fucks with me so much, Can someone help with suggestions on how to beat this, like I get excepting it is the best way, but I can’t get my head round accepting shit I don’t like, I just want to not doubt shit, like my own head is telling me I’m straight and it just feels like I’m not, the thoughts telling me I’m gay have gone and now there saying I’m straight, I was so happy this morning now I have gave into the compulsion and I’ve gone downhill Is this even hocd anymore I know I want to with a women and don’t want to be with a man but something is misssing ) the reassurance telling me I only want women ain’t there, I want it

Sexual Orientation OCD

bane3

Date posted: 5y

Im stuck to bro,

OCDsucks

Date posted: 5y

It fucks with your head all the time. I’ve gone through therapy and was told you don’t have to accept thoughts. On the other hand, on here and elsewhere online it says that’s the key. Like for example, I suffer from HOCD and every time I’d look at my dad, uncles and cousins that were 65-70, my intrusive thoughts would tell me they are good looking/attractive people, which made me think what the fuck? Everywhere online says accepting the thoughts is key, but no, you don’t need to accept the thought that your mind is saying you’re attracted to your 70 year old dad. Furthermore, I’ve been reading a book brain lock by Jeffery Schwartz. He lives by the 4 step method. His first step is relabel. When having intrusive thoughts he encourages you to relabel those thoughts as “hey that’s my ocd telling me this”. Some activist and other Dr. say that is a way of reassurance. It’s hard to know what to try but just stick with something that works

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Dame it told me my dad was attractive and I feared seeing him, but how do I know this is ocd ffs

OCDsucks

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh If you think it’s OCD, it’s OCD. Don’t mean for reassurance, but it’s the truth

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@OCDsucks I did at first but now it feels real

OCDsucks

Date posted: 5y

@frghtfdfh It always feels real. That’s why it such a bitch

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@OCDsucks But sometimes when I imagine the thoughts it makes me feel sick and other times it makes me aroused

nimo

Date posted: 5y

honestly I deal with that too and it's the reassurance itself that makes it worse... you have to deal with that uncertainty despite how uncomfortable it is Instead of saying to myself: "I can't be gay, I am straight,' no worries" I'll say "okay maybe I am gay... yknow what i probably am, who knows?"and just sitting with that anxiety, it's hard but ultimately it does help

xxsxxb

Date posted: 5y

So I have to live with hard anxiety to better my HOCD. I feel like no one deserves this.

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