Hi guys, I would really appreciate it if you could help me with this problem/question. For the past two days I've been trying to use a different approach than before, by avoiding rumination and analysing my thoughts, feelings, sensations and urges, as I've realised that I need to change the way I live (I, of course, still feel that I don't deserve to be treated with love and respect, or that I deserve any sort of help and kindness from people surrounding me, but I'm forcing myself to think in a different way). However, there's one thing (well, not really, there's a million of them but for now this is the one that matters the most) that is being a negative factor in my recovery (if I can call it that). I can't seem to get rid of the feeling of disgust when I am overwhelmed by really unpleasant thoughts, feelings and urges. They stay with me for a very long time and, because of that, I can't avoid questioning myself or trying to understand what they mean by ruminating. For example, earlier my brother and I were being affectionate to each other and then I had a really, really disgusting thought combined with strong sensations, and also with the 'I want to do it' thing/feeling. After it happend, the whole 'experience' stayed with me for another 20 minutes or so. During those 20 minutes, I still was able to feel the same intensity of the thought and sensations, and the feeling/thought of wanting to act on them was even stronger. I have really tried not to figure out what it all means, as well as to acknowledge that the feelings of guilt, disgust and shame were/are there and that there was/is no need to interpret them in any way, but I just can't seem to do it and move on. I would like to know your opinions about this. How do you live with the feelings of disgust, shame and guilt? Do you know any tips on how to avoid letting it affect you in a very bad, negative way? Thank you for reading this, and I really hope it makes sense.

POCD

jackg

Date posted: 5y

I think self compassion and mindfulness come into play here. Struggling with OCD is difficult. And I think only someone with OCD can really relate to how hard it actually is. It’s your worst thoughts and fears replaying in your head over and over and over. Who wouldn’t be affected by feelings of shame and disgust by that? Truth is, you do deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness - every human being does no matter what their situation. Truth is, we can’t control our feelings, but we can observe them. Whenever I feel disgusted or shameful about a thought, I try to take a step back, tell myself “wow, I’m feeling really (sad/mad/glad/afraid) right now, I’ll just let myself experience this feeling without digging into it. Those feelings of shame and guilt are brought about because of our intrusive thoughts - which because of OCD, we do not have control of when they come in. I tell myself “I’m feeling really sad right now that the intrusive thoughts are back. Thats okay, I know that OCD is just trying to bring me down. I’m going to continue to do ERP, and move forward the best that I can.” Hopefully slowly but surely, you’ll come out of it! Be patient and understanding with yourself. Remember, you are not your thoughts!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much! This is great advice! I really appreciate it ?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I’m going to second everything that Jackg said. You can’t control how you feel but you can treat yourself with compassion and accept that you feel that way without over analyzing it. Also, I’m proud of you for trying to avoid ruminating and over analyzing! I wish you the best with it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you! ?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@corablue No problem!

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